The Book of the Dead
by MegFallow
Summary: Pre-TBF/Post-SK: Critic is determined to use the Necronomicon to resurrect Ma-Ti but when something goes wrong, he unleashes pure terror in the form of The "Trifecta of Horror" & the book falls into the hands of Diamanda Hagan. Now Critic & friends must bravely stop her, or face the possibility of apocalyptic damnation. I fixed the chapter titles. CHAPTER FIVE IS UP R&R please.
1. Chapter 1: Finding The Book

**A/N:** This was a idea I had for a horror-themed "Anniversary" story line since at least the end of Suburban Knights when Critic thought about getting the Necronomicon to resurrect Ma-Ti and naturally since I am a huge of the horror-movie/Paranormal genre I definitely wanted to write this out.

**Note:** The characters portrayed here don't belong to me with the exception of two OCs reviewers Alexa and Angelfox, that were created when another friend of mine rp this story out on Skype to create the basic story structure of what will entail for our internet heroes. I mean no disrespect to any of the characters depicted here and own no rights to them, they belong to their RL counterparts and TGWTG.

_**Warning:**_Contains dark disturbing themes of supernatural/horror elements even within the context of a homage/parody/satire. Violence, gore, profanity, and awful things happening to some of your favorite characters. You have been warned.

Feedback, reviews, constructive criticism, and suggestions are very welcomed at the moment.

Thank you

* * *

**Prologue**

It had been seven months since the battle against Malachite and the quest for his gauntlet. After Ma-Ti's funeral, a handful select went out to scour the battlefield and try to find any sign of the gauntlet. Or the stone for that matter. But so far nothing. The Critic, deep down, thought it was probably better off that way and lead them back to his house so they could rest up, refresh themselves, and go on back to what they were doing before.

Reviewing on the internet.

That is until he heard of it...The Book of the Dead.

The Necronomicon. Suffice to say, it would be correct to intrude that he had heard the stories, but mostly he had watched the Evil Dead movies and only to have Linkara bring it up again, it was risky, the mistakes would damn everyone. But his guilt could not be held off any longer, and Critic knew that if he could bring back Ma-Ti, he could start things over, they could start over and he would treat Ma-Ti better. Respectfully; push him around no more, and take advantage of his giving nature.

Things would change finally!

After everyone went home and things had settled, Critic sent Chester A Bum to every haunted house across the United States, in hopes that the cause of the reported haunting may have had something to do with outside forces of darkness reputedly incurred when the book was used. He checked out everything from the famous Winchester House, the Wolf Manor in Fresno California to the Villesca Axe Murder House in Iowa. But to his disappointment, no such book had been found. Well, there was one they thought could be the Necronomicon, but it only turned out to be an Evil Dead 2 DVD with a special cover to look like the book from the movie, with an sound-chip that made the scream when you pressed one of the eyes.

Well, at least now Critic didn't have to worry about what gift to give Lupa for a birthday present that year.

But, the realization was slowly dawning on him that the quest was in vain...

Or so he had thought.

Far away, in his grand study room, a man writes in his journal.

_"In the years that I have studied this book, only for it to fall from my hands, how could I have been so stupid to let it get away. Would they know? Would anyone suspect?_

_ Before that occurrence, I have uncovered three truths that have been revealed to me hidden behind its words and allegorical meanings within its pages. But have never manifested themselves until now. To that, I am referring to what I have dubbed the "Trifecta of Horror" as it is known, it is the terrible link that wraps around and adhere to the teachings of The Book of the Dead. These "horrors" have been around for centuries but have never been given a full identity within the confines of book's pages. Until people put it upon themselves to categorize them as such. Even if they have become corrupted, its origins altered, and its existence overbearing. They still are the universal mindsets that awaken our deepest fears of the unknown, ourselves, and what we can't comprehend._

_In obtaining the book and discovering this Trifecta of Horror, one has to embrace the darkness itself to walk among its shadows and not be afraid. And there. They will unlock and control the Trifecta of Horror to its desires."_

The man paused at his desk, his hand shaking before he could write in the blank pages of his journal again.

"_Having 'knowledge' myself, of one of these... Trifecta...i can safely say for without a doubt, they are real. And failure to realize that having this book in the wrong hands could be catastrophic ."_

* * *

_**Chapter One**_

_**Chicago, Illinois**_

Critic was doing some laundry, while The Other Guy was in the living room watching television, when a news report came up of a family murdered in St. Paul, Minnesota by one of their own children, the murderer had written occult symbols on the walls of the bedrooms he murdered his family members in, before killing himself with a knife. The thing that got Critic's attention however, was that it was said the kid had in his possession a mysterious book that claimed to order him to do this deed.

"Hey, The Other Guy! Turn up the volume will you!" he asked with hyperactivity.

The Other Guy rolled his eyes, but obeyed regardless.

_"- people we have interviewed within the community said that the boy had no earlier juvenile criminal records or instances of causing any trouble at school. Described as a bright, community-driven upstanding student with good to average grades and popular with kids and teachers. One student said he was like a social butterfly. Which was why it came as a shock when neighbors heard the sound of screaming and rants coming from the house and the boy came out covered in blood."_

The camera cuts to a video of the house's exterior with police officers and paramedics walking around putting up a yellow "Do Not Cross" ribbon. Cameras patrolled inside the house where strange markings in dried blood and swarming flies painted on a backdrop of pretty flowery wall paper. Along with disturbing words written in haste. And crooked with uneven lower and upper cases.

_"- according to witnesses, he said that "the book of the dead is hungry for flesh" before taking his own life. Police are investigating the crime scene and any trace of this so-called 'book of the dead." to piece together what kind of answers they can get from this horrific event. When emergency medical personal where dispatched on the scene, they had found the family: a husband, wife, and two daughters dead in their beds with multiple knife wounds laying on their sides. So far, there was no trace of guns, video games, violent movies, or even a computer within the kid's room so naturally making moral rights advocates confused and frustrated to find a scapegoat to pin this one on. But the search within the house for this so-called 'book of the dead' is ongoing. This is Anita Madison with Channel 3 News-"_

"Did you hear that, quick give me the phone!"

"Critic, this is stupid, what makes you honestly think the boy had the Necronomicon in this possession, if he was really a 'Sweet kind goody two-shoes Jesus kid' what was he doing with it and how would he have come across it in the first place?"

"Maybe he came across it the same way the teenagers in Evil Dead did, who knows, but we have to get it before the police and detectives there do!" Critic took the phone ripping it out of hand and was about to call up Chester A Bum when he realized something.

"Hey wait a second...this is nuts, what am I doing-?"

"Yes?" TOG leaned in, hoping what he said earlier to his brother was finally sinking in.

"-Chester doesn't even have a phone, he lives on the streets, oh what a mistake I made. Thanks for warning me big brother, here you go," he gave the phone right back to The Other Guy, "I will just go visit Chester's place by foot."

He grabbed his coat and ran to the dumpster behind his house where he always knew Chester would occupy.

"Chester!" Critic screamed, "Chester are you in there!?"

Chester crawled out from behind the dumpster, stretching and yawning from the lovely sleep he had until some loud internet guy came out and banged on the side of the dumpster.

"Oh great, you're already awake, okay, now I know you don't want to do this, but I know where it is! We can get it!"

Chester stopped and stared at him with a mixture of fear and annoyance.

"Excuse me we!? If you were to recall I nearly FREAKING SHAT my brain out from all the fucked up spooky ma-things that wanted to use me as a half-eaten chew toy!"

"Yeah but at least you got some new psychosomatic drugs out of it right?"

"Yeah, that is true."

"Look, I will even drive you out there, you don't have to hitchhike with creepy fat hairy truck drivers, but please! Just this once!"

"..." Chester was apprehensive.

"I will give you a promotion..."

"A promotion?" he glared, "A PROMOTION-after all the crap I had to go through and weeks of psychological theuram-pateutic counseling from my HMO provider-which turned out to be nothing but a duck that flew in through the window of the counselor's office-WHY THE FUCK SHOULD I GO BACK AND GET THAT STUPID BOOK!"

Critic put his hands on the pocket of his coat and fumbled around pulling out not a penny, not a nickel, and most certainly not a dime. But an honest to god quarter. The KING of all loose change.

"YIPPEE!" Chester shouted throwing his hands up in the air.

"Now...will you do it?"

"Lead the way!"

* * *

**_St. Paul, Minnesota_**

Critic waited in the car as Chester went in, almost tumbling over the yellow police tape surrounding the entire outside of the house. Which, looked dark and intimidating in the night, with its twisted gnarled black trees and blackened windows creating the eyes for which the house could be starred into, telling you it had no soul. It was nothing but hallow, empty and lifeless now that most of its inhabitants had died at the hands of one of their own children.

Even the way it looked seemed unnatural, hunched over like the weight of death, madness, and pain was burdened upon its architectural shoulders

_It's just a damn house...stop creeping yourself out. _He kept telling himself over and over.

They had arrived around the afternoon, it was a two-day drive so they hoped that someone on that police force or investigation unit was slow enough to find anything incriminating. For once, he wanted the incompetency of the law to work in his favor. By the time they arrived, it was dark, most everyone had gone home and only one cop had been told to watch the scene in case anyone arrived to ruin the crime scene. Luckily, fatigue look to take its toll on the man and Chester sneakily crawled in through the back of the house by use of the kitchen window. While Critic was now alone in the cold, dull, boring car listening to the sounds of the night. Instead of in his safe, warm, happy reviewer room where it was full of bright lights.

Nearby, the sound of dogs howling with none visible to be seen startled him from his thoughts, a ghastly pale-white barn owl sat on a tree branch overhanging above the car hooting two to three times until it flew off.

_Maybe I should go in there..._

Before he could put his hand on the door handle, he heard the faint sound of shoes scuffling against the dry ground; crackling, snapping, brushing against shrubs and branches. He paused, no one knew they were here, and he had dimmed the headlights so the cop standing guard wouldn't see them. Critic tuned his ears to the sound of the footsteps and they were coming straight for him. Towards the car.

"Shit," he whispered, "who is that?"

Great, just great. There was some creepy weirdo out there, he bet. Hiding in the shadows with a faceless mask and a rusty meat cleaver ready to break in and skin him alive like a fish. And no one would go out to find him because he had to leave and take the car without telling his brother anything, so if something did happen he would be shit out of luck and if That Other Guy actually did find him there would be nothing left, nothing left but a skinned, decapitated, bleeding corpse with a cut open stomach and all his guts removed and replaced with-

"MR. MA-CRITIC!"

"AAAhhh!" Critic turned to see a light shine underneath someone's unkempt face.

It was only Chester A Bum.

Without the book.

"Can I get in, I am freezing my balls off!"

"Get in!" He opened the door on the passenger side and let Chester inside the car turning on the heater.

"Well, did you get it?"

"Did I get what?"

"The book, did you get the book?"

"No I can't say that I did," Chester said cheerfully that he was getting warmed up,"but I did happen to get, frostbitten fingers, an infected bite from a rat, claw scratches from a raccoon that decided to make a nest for her mini-coons in one of the bedrooms who might be diseased judging from the color surrounding my scratches, and a wasp stung me on the nose."

"DAMMIT!" Critic hit the dashboard in anger.

"Oh don't worry, Mr. Ma-Critic, I am sure he will take very good care of it."

"Huh?" He looked over,"who will?"

"I don't know, funny thing though I was inside and I saw one of my bum pals Spencer, nice guy you will like him, anyway, he said that someone else was already here and had found the book and taken it back to their place to keep it safe and sound."

"Really, who was it, what was his name, what did the guy look like!?"

"Didn't have a name," Chester said, then added,"but he did say he had a very pretty hat and claimed his gun was magic-kimal...I wonder where he would have purchased something like that?"

"Wait..."

"Now where is my quarter?"

_LINKARA!_

Critic turned on the car and drove off ignoring Chester's request.

There was a certain magical know-it-all comic book reviewer he had to go see.

* * *

**_TO BE CONTINUED_**


	2. Chapter 2: The Dead Shall Rise

**A/N:** This was an idea I had for a horror-themed "Anniversary" story line since at least the end of Suburban Knights when Critic thought about getting the Necronomicon to resurrect Ma-Ti and naturally since I am a huge of the horror-movie/Paranormal genre I definitely wanted to write this out.

**Note:** The characters portrayed here don't belong to me with except for two OCs reviewers Alexa and Angelfox, that was created when another friend of mine rp this story out on Skype to create the basic story structure of what will entail for our internet heroes. I mean no disrespect to any of the characters depicted here and own no rights to them, they belong to their RL counterparts and TGWTG.

_**Warning:**_Contains dark disturbing themes of supernatural/horror elements even within the context of an homage/parody/satire. Violence, gore, profanity, and awful things happening to some of your favorite characters. You have been warned.

Feedback, reviews, constructive criticism, and suggestions are very welcomed at the moment.

Thank you

* * *

** "**LINKARA!"

Critic pulled up to Linkara's house, he gave Chester A Bum his payment (two quarters) and walked up to the house, along the path he could see a curtain swaying and then stop abruptly. Inside, Linkara was playing a DnD table-top game with Spoony, Iron Liz, 90s Kid, and a new reviewer on their site Alexa. Who critiqued country music songs. She had been picked up three days ago while she was reviewing them on YouTube. Talking about not just the lyrical styling but the music video, and added constructive criticism to its flaws. Linkara invited her to come along so that they could have more of a chance to get to know their new friend and co-reviewer better. When the comic book geek heard the sound of a car driving up the parkway, he knowingly smiled and got up heading to the door, opening it just as a red-tied glasses-wearing ranting man stormed in past; calling him a thief. Waving his arms about without even noticing that he was not slamming face-first into a door.

The other four stopped playing their game and stood in front of the entrance into the living room, watching the show unfolding before them.

"LINKARA!" Critic screamed "How dare you-"

He stopped and turned around facing Linkara near the front door which the comic book reviewer shut calmly, he knew the moment he took that book that Critic would be after it. The other four kept on watching curiously, particularly Alexa, who had no idea who this man was or what he was going on about.

"Can I help you?" Linkara smiled crossing his arms over his chest.

"Don't act coy with me," Critic said, "I know you have the book, where is it?"

"What makes you think I would tell you after I busted my butt off to get ahold of it?"

"Because I am your boss that is why." Critic retorted, "Now-" he held his palm out "-hand it over."

"No can do Critic," Linkara shook his head, "I did the right thing, knowing you, you would probably stumble over a word or two and screw the thing up. Besides, you can't just mess with the nature of death. Human beings are not meant to have that ability, there is a reason why we are not gifted with the power of resurrection."

"But Ma-Ti could be alive...he wouldn't have been dead!"

"True, but then you know what else Critic," Linkara said, "then his death would have been in vain. He died to save us...do you want to go stomping over his sacrifice just because of your guilt?"

"Besides, how do we even know the book works anyway?" chimed in Spoony.

"Spoony, you were in on it too?"

"My brother and I helped sneak him in, it was cool, I got to wear a badge and pretend I was a detective like Dirty Harry! I even told one of the cops if he felt 'lucky punk' huh, do ya, do you feel lucky-" he chuckled with a dumb-founded grin on his face.

"Yes thank you Clint Eastwood, why don't you debate politics with that wicker chair over there while me and Linkara get this settled?" Nostalgia Critic said rolling his eyes.

Spoony backed off.

"Now, give me the book Linkara!"

"No, first of all I worked my butt off getting it out of there, not just because of you, but if it fell into the wrong hands of some clueless cop or detective, who knows what kind of terror it could unleash. No matter what kind of ideology you believe Critic, magic or other types of outer worldly power should never be taken lightly. There are forces beyond our control that we need to respect at a safe distance and the Necronomicon is one of them!"

"So, you're admitting that you think it works then?"

"Well no I am not saying that-"

"Come on Linkara, you must have thought it works or that it might of have existed. Or, why else would you have dragged Spoony and most of all, his brother Miles into it if you didn't think any of the spells in there were real?" He leaned in closer, "Or, to put it another way, get you so worked up to actually dare cross into a crime scene-and a scary-looking one at that-if it only turned out the book didn't exist or was something made up by the reporters to spice up the evening news..."

"Look, I am not denying I have the book, I have it, but whether or not the book is real or that it actually does cast spells is something I will leave questionable just so that none of us mess with it!"

"Duuudeee! Linkara that is so awesome! We can use it to bring Kurt Cobain back from the dead and finally have an AWESOME Nirvana reunion concert!"

"FOR THE LAST TIME 90S KID WE ARE NOT DOING THAT!"

"Yeah but at least its better than actually digging up his corpse..."

"90s Kid, go into the kitchen and make some more popcorn."

"Fine." He walks into the kitchen.

"Anyone else here want to chime in?"

"Yeah," said the young Country Music Critic, "I think that was funny when you told Spoony to argue with an empty wicker chair."

"Who are you?" he asked Alexa straight to the point.

"Oh, I am Alexa, I review country music songs, you know-nitpick the crappy ones and praise the good ones in a fair and unbiased way. Nice to meet you."

"Likewise," he said shaking her outstretched hand, "I am The Nostalgia Critic, and let me guess you wear a cowboy hat or something?"

"Well, in the early days of my Youtube videos I didn't usually, unless I find out that looks good on me." replied Alexa, "but who knows, maybe I might."

"So why haven't I heard about you being recommended on here before?"

"I guess some people don't like to admit they like country music I guess, particularly if they get lumped in with Toby Keith and Taylor Swift crowd I am sure." shrugged Alexa.

"Oh great, " mumbled Critic, "we're getting self-insert slash Mary Sueish character aren't we?"

"Hey," shouted Alexa, "I am NOT a Mary Sue you howling screech banshee! Though, my friend on the other hand, that is pretty much open to debate. But nothing like smacking her around to keep her in line won't cure. Heh heh."

"Another one, we got another reviewer too," Critic said, "I mean, I am happy, but why didn't TOG or anyone else for that matter tell me?"

Iron Liz stepped forward, "Uhh, I could have sworn that someone mentioned it, I mean you being busy and all with projects, conventions, the site, reviews...Ma-Ti, I am sure its understandable that they didn't want to bother you with that."

"Besides, The Other Guy already took care of the paperwork." explained Linkara.

Critic took a few calming breaths and looked over Alexa, she was slender-built, but looked like she could hold her own in a fight both mentally and physically. She had lightly tan skin. With long black straight hair that went down to her shoulders with feathery bangs over her forehead and her eyes were green. The country music reviewer had on nothing fancy or off the wall as a "costume" like some of the other reviewers had on, just plain clothes consisting of denim jeans, a black sleeveless tank top and cowboy boots. Well, she might find her niche in there somewhere. Maybe with Todd or Paw. He then turned to Linkara.

"Come on Linkara," he said, he was holding down the urge to plead at this point, "just give me the book. Maybe it works and maybe it doesn't, but at least we can try. Just to prove me wrong Linkara!"

"No! I am sorry, but I am not giving you the book!"

"Even if it means that it's lying around the house in reach of...HIM!?" Critic pointed his thumb over his shoulder at 90s Kid making a RADICAL double-decker sandwich for himself.

"Yes, Critic, even if it means it's where he could find it." answered Linkara, "I can at least watch him. Case closed."

"But Linkara-!"

"Critic, no, I know what I am doing." he said, planting his foot down.

Critic slumped his shoulders in defeat. He could hear Spoony come up behind him and put his hands on his shoulder, whether or not Spoony actually did take Critic's orders and debate heated politics with that wicker chair still leaves much to be discussed for another time.

"Its okay man," Spoony said comforting him, "do you want me to drive you home?"

"No," Critic shook his head, "its okay, I drove here. "

He walked out of the house, not saying another word.

* * *

From his Victorian study room, the man watched the full moon through the large red-draped window behind his desk, how quickly that phase of the moon always sneaked up on you, He thought, it was to be expected though, he figured.

Ever since he found out one of his history students had stolen the book and had it turn on him, he hadn't been paying attention to much else lately. When he wasn't concerned about the whereabouts of the Necronomicon, he was writing in his journal like every entry would be his last for future survivors to find.

For all he knew, it very much could have been.

He eyes gazed upon an reflection of himself in the glass. He had dark-hair with glasses and dressed in a tweed suit with leather patches on the elbows. A classic look. If it wasn't for his bearded mustache you would have almost mistook him for one of those professors from a movie like the "Dead Poet's Society" or any other classy college-teacher movie. Heck, sometimes he liked to imagine himself as the professor from "The Da Vinci Code" if he was feeling daring enough.

But there were more important things to focus on then who or what person he reminded someone of. The Necronomicon, his most precious possession, stolen from his hands just around the time he left the study to enjoy a snack several weeks ago. Because of the close-encounter issue with one of the Trifecta of Horror, he could not leave the mansion, for fear of the outside world finding out the truth. So he had found a vagrant off the street and persuaded him with a home-cooked meal to go to St. Paul, and get the book back particularly when news broke out that the male student of his that stole the book, committed murder-suicide on his family. The foolish media and society will think of a million causes of course, but as always they will be wrong. They will overlook the truth, and never realize how dangerous that book in the hands of a weak-minded individual can be. If only he had been in here to stop his student when he dared to take it in the first place.

The professor went over to a small compartment in his desk and opened it revealing a small syringe filled with silver liquid and a home-made tourniquet . He took off the cap with his teeth, rolling up his sleeve and using a tourniquet he gritted his teeth and stuck the needle into his vein, injecting the substance into his bloodstream.

"That will hold it off for now." he whispered to himself.

Just then, the vagrant walked in, as expected. It was none other than Spencer T Bum.

"So, do you have it?" he asked with his back to the vagrant, quickly the professor put away the syringe and the tourniquet before the vagrant would notice with his addled-brain.

"It's not there."

"What?" he turned sharply to the vagrant.

"When I got there I sneaked into the kid's room like you said and looked for it, but someone must have gotten there already! I bet it as aliens!" Spencer shouted.

The Professor rubbed the bridges of his nose with his fingers, "Look for the last time, there are no such things as aliens!"

"So wait, you're saying that aliens are not real, but there is a book that raised the dead Necro-watcha-macallit that exists!?" pondered Spencer T, "what kind of fucked up logic is that!?"

"It's the Necronomicon and yes. Its been passed down to the men in my family for generations, I have held it, read it and even...used it. There is no logical proof that aliens exist and every proof, prior to the contrary has been a hoax!"

"What is to say that your book isn't a hoax as well-?"

"GET OUT!" shouted The Professor, "I will hear no more of this! Just leave!"

"Don't I get a prize or a payment for at least trying?"

"No, because you didn't carry out anything, now go!"

"Well excuse me, I was the one that went all the way over there to try to get YOUR book, since you couldn't bother to leave the study-hall room yourself! As a vagrant henchmen that does odd jobs for scrupulous characters on the side I have the right be compensated!"

The Professor let out a sigh and opened the top draw, taking out a small Atari game and held it up for the vagrant bum to see. He had meant to get rid of this sorry excuse for a movie-licensed game for some time now, better no time than the present.

"Here you go," he said, "E.T the video game. Enjoy."

He tossed it to Spencer to catch it a bit ungracefully.

"Hurray!"

Spencer turned around and scampered out of the room.

Leaving the Professor to pondering who could have it now.

And if they will be a threat or not...

* * *

Later that same night, Critic had told Linkara he had left. But secretly, he was hiding in the bushes until Spoony, Iron Liz, and Alexa had gone home. And all the lights had gone off in the house. Critic was bound and determined to find out now if the book really could bring back the dead. Chester was with him, of course, he would have asked Ask That Guy to help him out instead, being how ATG was more competent-minded and had a tendency to enter places without the use of doors or windows. But as far as loyalty and temperament was concerned, ATG was as trustworthy as a snake to a plump mouse.

And Critic wanted Linkara alive and unharmed

"So you know the plan Chester?"

"Yes Mr. Ma-Critic...!"

"Shhhh, not so loud, you will wake everyone up," Critic hushed, "Plus, he has two robots and a gangster with a Tommy Gun in there, I am not pissing them off."

"Yes sir." Chester did a over-enthusiastic salute that made Critic roll his eyes a bit.

"Okay, just go in there and find the book, he might have hidden it in a safe or secret room or something. When you find it, be sure to bring back directly to me, got it?"

"Yes."

"Any questions?"

"Yes one...why don't you do it?"

"Because Chester, I am the lookout, my job is the sit here in the bushes and keep an eye out for any of Linkara's strange doppelganger and make sure they don't see you."

"Oh okay..."

"Great, now, get to it."

"I will Mr. Ma-Critic, you can count on me!"

Eagerly, Chester A Bum crawled through the open window into Linkara's bedroom. Very quietly, as to not to wake the man up as he laid in bed sleeping. Crawling on his hands and knees, Critic felt as if every brush against a table or chair leg was an threat of alarm to awaken Linkara. Seeming all too deafening to The Nostalgia Critic laying in wait for Chester to find the book. The bum looked over piles of comics, bookshelves, behind and underneath boxes. He scoured under the bed and to Critic's aggravation even peaked under the bed sheets while Linkara was in them.

Luckily, the comic book reviewer didn't wake up just then.

"Come on Chester," he urged, "come on...I don't want to be out here all night-"

Suddenly he felt the cold press of a gun barrel against the back of his neck.

"Okay buddy, " came a man who strangely sounded a bit like Frank Sinatra, "how about you stand up nice and slowly and walk into the house for nice talk."

What followed was the crack of a lighter and the faint smell of tobacco.

"Now walk."

The Nostalgia Critic was tempted to turn around and face the man holding him at gunpoint, but he smartly figured it was better not to chance it.

Inside, Harvey Finevoice escorted Critic into the living room of the house. The coffee table which was once filled with tabletop game items were cleared away and empty. Harvey nudged Critic in the back and forced him to take a seat in his chair before calling out to Linkara.

"Hey kid," he said,"sorry to walk you from dreamland, but we have ourselves here a peeping tom."

Linkara walked out of the bedroom and down the hall, rubbing his eyes sleepily, he had on pajamas pants and an Iron Man 2 t-shirt. Once his eyesight became clearer he turned on the light switch and instead of being surprised, he looked completely irritated.

"Critic, what the hell, I thought you had gone home?"  
"So you know this bozo?"

"Yes Harvey, I work with this 'bozo' he was here before, wait, where is Chester?"

"I FOUND IT MR. MA-CRITIC! I FOUND IT! IT WAS BEHIND THE FRIDGE THE WHOLE TIME-" He stops the moment he ran into the living room, "oh, hello there, ahem as I was saying I have found the item in question and expect to be heavily compensated. I think five cups of change should suffice."

Both Linkara and Critic had seen the book in Chester's hands, strangely, it didn't look anything at all like what they had both seen from the Evil Dead movies. It was dark-colored and very worn from age. But the cover didn't like the wrinkly skin of a human being that most popular culture portrayed it to be. It had a hard yet smooth surface with leather clasps instead of metal, fastened together by three padlocks with strange little designs on the metal. A bat, a wolf, and what looked like a decaying corpse.

"That can't be the book, can it," Critic said walking over to Chester to look at it closely, Harvey was about to react with his tommy gun but Linakara stopped him, stating that he was a friend and not a threat,"so this is what the book really looks like. Huh?"

"I did every scan, scientifically and magically I could find on it," said Linkara, "and according to Nimue, it's exactly 4,000 years old, the same age it would have been reportedly written in 737 AD."

"Yet strangely enough, still in good condition."

"Okay, you've seen it Critic, just go on home now."

"Oh no Linkara," he rips it from Chester's hands, "Come with me back to Chicago, now, we can finally resurrect Ma-Ti from the dead!"

"I am NOT having this argument with you again Critic! For Pete's sake, are you insane?" argued Linkara, "it will never work! Even I haven't used it, and even if it did I would refuse to bring someone back from the dead."

Critic hugged the book like a child hugged his stuffed animal, there was no persuasion from his intentions. He wanted to know right there and then, that it could happen. And that it will happen. He just needed a chance.

"Come on Linkara," begged Critic, "just to prove me wrong then. We go to where Ma-Ti died and try it once. You can even invite the others to the witness it so you can gloat about it in my face if you want. Anything to prove that you were right. What do you say?"

"All right," Linkara said finally, taking out his communicator, "Nimue, put the house under security gridlock 42-B while I am gone."

_{Affirmative}_

He then looked back at Critic, "Just give me a chance to get dressed and ready, then we will leave."

* * *

Chicago had lived up to its nickname "The Windy City" that night. A cold wind blew through the trees. They gathered out in the open area where they had fought Malachite on their own turf. A small handful of reviewers around five at least, with one man holding a book in the middle of the circle. They were in their day clothes with heavy coats, jackets, and blankets to keep them warm. Linkara didn't get as many as he could, so there were only him, Critic, Chick, Marzgurl, and Cinema Snob.

"So, let me get this fucking straight," groaned Cinema Snob, "you're saying that you and Critic uncovered the book...THE BOOK...of the dead, do you even know how to use it correctly?"

"And do you Snob?"

"Well I-I-no not really."

"There, you have no place to judge then."

"I will," said Nostalgia Chick, "exactly, what the hell are we doing, and what is that thing?"

Linkara answered, "This Chick, is called the Necronomicon, most properly known in the Evil Dead movies, it's said that it will contain incantations that will bring back the dead if anyone reads it. Critic here believes that if it works than we can bring back Ma-Ti."

"Critic, honey, are you sure that is what you want?"

"More than anything, think about it, if this works we can also bring back dead loved ones, pets, family members, friends, anyone." Critic explained, "and if it doesn't work and nothing happens, than at least we can say we tried!"

"Where did you guys find it anyway?" asked Marzgurl brushing strands of purple hair from her eyes.

"I found it hidden in the bedroom of the St. Paul kid who went crazy and murdered his whole family," answered Linkara, "I figured the Critic would try at nothing to get a hold of that back after they said that the boy's last words mentioned the book."

"Wait a minute, so it WAS the book that made that kid off his folks?" cried Snob in surprise and confusion.

"That is what we're lead to believe-"

"Okay, can we get this started already, " Critic interjected, "I am already freezing my man-tits off here...okay, Linkara the keys."

Linkara reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a small golden key and gave it to Critic. Who took it from Linkara's hand and balancing the book on his right arm he unlocked the clasps on the side of the book and opened it placing it in his jeans pocket.

"Okay, lets see here, " he looked through the index and found what he was looking for, "all right, Resurrection Incantation, lets do this, first we need to be a circle standing over the place of the person's death."

The other did so, too cold and tired to complain about placement or who was standing next to whom, Critic was standing in between Chick and Linkara looking over the words. They were written in dried dark blood and the pages were yellow with age and the elements. He cleared his throat, and in a loud clear speaking voice, began as everyone listened in with bated breath.

_"Mor-tijica...A-brue Cinex-mai Tarainga...N'JOYU-MA VILLO NOMBRE!"_

Nothing happened.

Linkara was the first to bring it up, "See, I told you-"

"Maybe you have to say them a certain number of times." said Chick.

Critic tried again, pronouncing them the second time

_"Mor-tijica...A-brue Cinex-mai Tarainga...N'JOYU-MA VILLO NOMBRE!" _he repeated_, __"Mor-tijica...A-brue Cinex-mai Tarainga...N'JOYU-MA VILLO NOMBRE!"_

The wind started to pick up faster, whipping in their faces like a smack across the cheeks. Causing the tree branches to thrash around wildly, writhing in a sort of mock agony and pain. The sounds of their creaking friction against bark to bark increased in volume and all at once, a chorus of dogs barked wildly, almost simultaneously in a strange canine chant. An icy chill grabbed on to the reviewers and they huddled together for even more warmth. One of the branches snapped violently and crashed to the ground right next to them.

"Okay, can we stop now, it's obviously not working!" cried out Marzgurl fearfully over the roaring wind.

"No, no look at this, look at it, its working, that means its working!" Critic said joyfully, "everyone keep a eye out for Ma-Ti-___Mor-tijica...A-brue Cinex-mai Tarainga...N'JOYU-MA VILLO_ NOMBRE-**AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" **

A skeletal hand draped in tattered rags burst out of the ground underneath the Critic and grabbed his ankle tightly stabbing the sharp points of his fingers into his skin. They screamed in terror, Critic grabbed a hold onto Chick tightly feeling the hand pulling him with a inhumane strength down to the ground. Chick grabbed as tight as she could pull with all her strength and adrenaline. Linkara, only able to use one hand while the other held onto his hat in the blowing wind took out his magic gun and shot at the joint of the skeletal hand snapping the hand and wrist away from each other. Critic was shaking his leg, screaming trying to get the detached hand off until Snob bravely ripped it off of him and threw it aside in shock,when he found it was still moving its fingers.

"FUCK!" screamed Cinema Snob, "LETS GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!"

Linkara pointed his gun down at the hand less skeletal arm while Marzgurl, Cinema Snob and Chick worked together to pull Critic away from safety and run as fast they as could in the direction of their business headquarters, Hotel Awesome. Linkara followed behind them bringing up the rear.

* * *

In a gated cementary bathed in a thick fog, the ground started to shift and break away, as decayed bodies of the dead, reanimated and broke through the topsoil, turning over gravestones and knocking over vases full of dried wilting flowers. Crawling out of their coffins and walking upon the earth once again. The Living Undead. The Walking Corpses. Zombies emerged one by one under a blood red moon to ravage the land and devour the flesh of the living.

**_TO BE CONTINUED_**

**_A/N:_**I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, and hopefully that the payment that the professor gave Spencer T Bum was a little clue as to whom I was imagining the professor to be. Don't worry, we will get more of a back story on him in the next chapters. Also I used Hotel Awesome as sort of a gathering place for the other reviewers and where we will met the second OC reviewer Angelfox.

Also, please tell me what what think of Alexa's introduction. Both of them will be fleshed out more later as the story continues. But input/feedback is appreciated to make them better.

Please read review and feel free to offer suggestions, constructive criticism, or advice if you want. You don't have to, but it would be appreciative. Thanks :)

**Note:** the word that Critic said were just a made up jumble of letters, nothing special.


	3. Chapter 3: My Brother The Zombie

**A/N:** This was an idea I had for a horror-themed "Anniversary" story line since at least the end of Suburban Knights when Critic thought about getting the Necronomicon to resurrect Ma-Ti and naturally since I am a huge of the horror-movie/Paranormal genre I definitely wanted to write this out.

**Note:** The characters portrayed here don't belong to me with except for two OCs reviewers Alexa and Angelfox, that was created when another friend of mine rp this story out on Skype to create the basic story structure of what will entail for our internet heroes. I mean no disrespect to any of the characters depicted here and own no rights to them, they belong to their RL counterparts and TGWTG.

_**Warning:**_Contains dark disturbing themes of supernatural/horror elements even within the context of an homage/parody/satire. Violence, gore, profanity, and awful things happening to some of your favorite characters. You have been warned.

Feedback, reviews, constructive criticism, and suggestions are very welcomed at the moment.

Thank you and thank you Lady-Sci-Fi for beta-reading chapter 3 for me. :)

* * *

**Somewhere at the Nostalgia Critic House**

The Other Guy noted how peaceful and quiet it was around the house without his little brother yelling or tearing around. He liked it. Finally he could get some work done, work on an industrial project or make an awesome recipe for a new kind of alcoholic beverage and sell millions. Learn a new language, translate Sanskrit, or write the great American novel.

What the heck, he had the house to himself, why not get a bowl of popcorn sit down and watch some of his favorite classic horror movies.

He found a classic Romero's Night of the Living Dead. The Black and White version. It was the genesis of all zombie horror flicks that other horror flicks had to live by. Even going so far as to become a fun entertaining mock-instructional for how to kill one of those zombies in the rare event you actually ran into one. In particular, stating that the only way to kill them was to shoot them in the head and dismember them.

Good advice, but so silly and useless in real life.

Besides, it's not like real zombies existed anyway.

* * *

Running on their way to the Hotel Awesome building, Cinema Snob grabbed Critic and Chick and pulled them back on the sidewalk just as three cop cars drove past them down the street, followed by an ambulance. He mentioned how strange it was that it was three, when usually four were dispatched, and kept running.

"Wait," Critic said, stopping them once they reached the other side of the street, "I have to warn TOG and Chester first, tell them what happened!"

"You mean what you did." corrected Marzgurl.

"I think it's probably more important to warn them about the zombies first BEFORE telling them how they showed up because of me." said Critic.

"Wait, wait a second, aren't we being a bit hasty here," retorted Chick, "all we saw is ONE hand, count it, one coming out of the ground and grab Critic, it doesn't mean that we have successfully raised the undead suddenly, right-?"

Just then in the distance they could hear the sound of a woman screaming in terror.

_"-AHHHHHHH-!"_

"Probably just a woman getting mugged, it is Chicago after all."

_"-OH GOD HE IS GRABBING MY ARM AND EATING IT OFF! SOMEONE HELP ME!"_

"Probably just a cannibalistic mugger."

_"HE IS HIDEOUS! HIS SKIN IS HANGING OFF HIS BONES! OH DEAR GOD SOMEONE HELP ME-!"_

"-a cannibalistic mugger with a nasty face disfigurement?"

The woman's screams suddenly stopped and they could hear the sound of low sinister, inhuman moaning. Making all five of them feel apprehensive. In fact, the moans were coming from other parts of the neighborhood, directions which he remembered, were where cemeteries and morgue were located at. He had to get to his house right away now more than ever.

He raced down the street where his house was as fast as he could muster.

"Critic, wait," Snob cried out racing after him, "You can't go down there!"

"But I have to find The Other Guy and make sure he is all right!" he protested.

The other four looked at each other, it was hard to admit it when it wasn't there, but it was admirable; as stupid as it was to run blindly across a dark spooky-invested street, it was for all the unselfish reasons that he wanted to make sure his brother was okay. You could joke all you want about how much they tortured and teased each other, but you couldn't deny that when it came down to it, they really did love one another. It was then Linkara spoke up.

"Okay, but we're coming with you!" he said.

* * *

Meanwhile, TOG was watching the part where the fat family man was flaming a debate over the "basement v the upstairs" scene, when he heard something moving down in the basement. Well, speak of the devil. He let out a sigh, knowing it would keep him away from his relaxing afternoon, he tried to ignore it, thinking over excuses that wouldn't make him aggravated like Chester sneaking in for extra warm shelter, or Ask That Guy making one of his creepy video question and answer segments down there. He liked to push the idea of him having a hooker down there to torture as much as he could for his sanity's sake.

The shuffling soon became a heavy thump, and that heavy thump later sounded like something large being dragged across the floor. Knocking over knickknacks, and extra storage items they kept in the basement for a rainy day. That Other Guy let out a sigh, and put down his popcorn, walking over to the basement and knocking on the door.

"Ask That Guy, is that you down there?" he asked, "you better not be having another prostitute down there, or I swear this time, I really going to call the cops on your ass!"

No one answered.

"Then it's probably Chester then. " he sighed with relief.

He turned around and was about to enter the den when he heard the most disturbing guttural sound he had ever heard in his life coming from down the basement. His head snapped back to the door. There was no way on Heaven or Earth...maybe Hell. That Chester wouldn't have ever made that sound no matter how much stolen rotting food from the garbage he had eaten that week, or would he?

And if so it had to have been serious. He couldn't let Chester lay down there sick and close to death.

"Chester?" he said worriedly, "is that you?"

He took his cellphone, having it handy for when he had to call the paramedics and opened the basement down walking down the wooden rickety stairs. He left the door open to provide some extra bit of light since the fluorescent lights were giving up the ghost, flickering on and off. Just like some well-shot horror movie he noticed.

"Chester, Chester are you okay, you didn't eat the moldy food in the trash again, didn't you?" he asked again, using the glow from his cellphone to luminate the darker corners of the room,"you know how much Critic and I warned you about doing that!"

He moved the cellphone around and looked up to see the basement window above him with shattered glass, as if someone was strong enough to smash their first right through it and strangely not leave behind a tiny sprinkle of blood in their wake.

_What is going on here?_

Once again, he heard the guttural sound even closer. It was coming from underneath his father's workbench in the dark shadows. Whatever it was, some wild animal or a dangerous demented resident from an Insane Asylum must have hidden underneath there when they heard TOG talking and walking downstairs. He crept over to the workbench, kneeling down and peering down through the darkened space under the bench. He lifted the cellphone up to the shadows in hope of casting some light on whoever it was. The light shined on a familiar unkempt drawn-out face with sunken glowing eyes (oh wait, they weren't glowing, it was the light from the cellphone reflecting off the corneas) bathing the man's skin in an unhealthy greenish glow. It was Chester A Bum hunched over looking even more sickly and uneasy more than usual.

"Oh it's just you Chester, " he said with relief, "what's the matter, you don't look so good-"

Suddenly, out of the blue, Chester reached out and grabbed TOG by the wrist pulling it towards his mouth and biting down on his arm. TOG screamed and dropped the cellphone in pain. He kicked his foot out hitting Chester in the jaw and stumbled away cradling his injured hand with the other.

"Chester, what the hell man!?"

Chester climbed out from underneath the workbench, in better light, he didn't look much nicer. His face was a pale shade of gray and he was gaunt-looking all over, eyes strained and his balance teetered back and forth. On his shoulder was a bloody gash where someone with strong humanized teeth bite him viciously. With his homeless appearance amplified along with his zombified look, he was truly was a scary sight to behold.

"Chester...what the-?"

He lunged out at TOG again grabbing him by the shoulders to bit him some more, TOG stretched his arms out to get as much distance between Chester and the flesh between his neck and shoulders as much as possible, but TOG was being thrown off-balance due to Chester's unnatural strength. Quickly with no way out, he grabbed a 2x4 of wood and without looking back on it, hit Chester on the side of the head. Then hit him once, twice, and three-time for added measure to knock him out and then ran as fast as he could back up the stairs. His thoughts scrambled: What was wrong with Chester, what was he doing under dad's old workbench, and all of all things did he treat him like teriyaki chicken on a stick?

_Something is seriously wrong here...Chester is not a freaking cannibal!_

Suddenly, he felt the sharp pain of teeth penetrate his leg and he fell on his stomach across the wooden staircase, he saw Chester, recovered from his blow to the head and biting him once more. TOG screamed and kicked the bum in the head as hard as he could. His body was shaking all over. Was it fear. Yes, it probably was. He was shaking so badly he felt like his stomach was doing gymnastic flips and it was making him nauseated and sweating profusely. His heart which was beating like a psychotic bird in the steel trap of his rib cage was slowing down much to his confusion. Already his hands were feeling cold and clammy to the touch.

_WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME...CRITIC...I NEED YOU!_

He looked up and saw Ask That Guy standing at the doorway entrance to the basement, with his swarmy smile and pipe. Perhaps, it was a long shot. But what choice did Critic's brother had.

"Ask That Guy!" He screamed,"send help, I am not feeling good and something is seriously wrong with Chester...send help...NO DON'T CLOSE THAT DOOR! ATG! ASK THAT GUY!"

The depraved Q and A man said nothing but smiled and calmly shut the basement door.

* * *

Around an hour and a half later, Critic, Linkara, Snob, Chick, and Marzgurl entered into his residential neighborhood.

The first thing they noticed, was how quiet it was. Usually there at least a few teenagers in the neighborhood blaring their favorite music out from their bedrooms, a dog catching attention of something moving and barking. Or even a TV show or a video game sound coming from the living room windows of the house.

But what sold it was the lack of crickets chirping.

"I don't like the looks of this Critic." Cinema Snob said flat-out.

"Yeah, " he agreed, "It's always busy on a weekend. Something is up."

"All the lights are on though, but I don't see even the faintest bit of life in anyone of these houses." mentioned Chick trying to suppress her uneasiness.

"Lets just get TOG and get out of here."

They nodded in agreement and walked down the sidewalk, keeping an eye out for anything that would have been out-of-place. Did something happen, Critic thought to himself, did his neighborhood evacuate for some reason?

Hell, if so, would TOG even be home?

They came upon Critic's house number and Critic ran inside opening the front door shouting for That Other Guy.

"Hey! TOG, TOG, are you in here? Are you okay!?"

Linkara, Snob, Chick, and Marzgurl walked in carefully but Critic bound in tearing the house apart looking for his brother searching the living room, dining room, kitchen, bathrooms, work room and even his recording room. By the time the rest of them were in the living room he ran upstairs to look for his big brother. In the bedroom, Critic had a thought and looked under the bed. Nope he wasn't down there either. But while he was looking down there, it probably was a good idea to take the box out and arm himself with the gun and take a couple of extra bullets for good measure, he then went over to the gun rack and took down a shotgun and swiped a couple of shells. He went back downstairs and lent the shotgun to Cinema Snob.

"You really think we're going to be needing those?"

"We were lucky that Linkara had his gun when that skeletal hand attacked me back there in the open," Critic explained, "it's not going to hurt that we are prepared."

"Hey action boys, what about me and Marz over here?"

"You know she is right Critic, its only fair." Linkara looked over at him.

"I am sure we can...find something around here we can use as weapons." he said, he almost suggested using a knife in the kitchen but decided now wasn't the best time to have Chick pissed off at him.

* * *

He felt himself dying now.

With no will. No thought. No Control.

Just kill, devour, and destroy.

Kill. Devour. Kill. Destroy.

He smelled the scent of a human.

No five of them. A feast he will have.

Slowly he crawled his way up the stairs reaching for the door.

Kill. Devour. Destroy.

* * *

Luckily though, Marzgurl already came out of the kitchen holding one of his kitchen knives. She gave it few practice swings and tucked it within her belt.

Suddenly, the basement door burst open, and a lurched over haggard man limped out of the basement with pale gaunt facial features and deathly pale skin. He looked dead. But...he wasn't staying dead. He growled like a rabid dog and dragged himself towards Critic reaching his hands out to grab and kill his baby brother.

"T-The Other Guy," Critic whispered, "We were looking for you-WHAT ARE YOU DOING! LET GO!"

TOG grabbed ahold of Critic and gnashed his teeth at him aiming for the face.

"_Fleesshhhhhh..." _drawled TOG in a low growl.

"TOG, get off!" Critic dug his fingers into TOG and tried to push him off.

Snob leaped into action and with the butt of the shotgun hit TOG in the face and pushing him away from TOG, but even with blood running down the older brother's face, he recovered to his feet and once more reached out for Critic hungrily.

"TOG...brother..." his bottom lip quivered, his own brother an undead creäture,"no...this isn't happening."

"SHOOT HIM CRITIC!" screamed Chick, "SHOOT HIM IN THE HEAD! HE IS NOT HUMAN ANYMORE!"

Critic raised the gun pointing it directly at TOG's face.

But he couldn't bring himself to pull the trigger.

"Critic! Snap out of it!"

"But...he is my brother..."

_...it's all my fault...this is all my fault...it had to have been a zombie, someone, someone rose out of the grave and bit him. If that skeleton underneath us tried to get up out of the ground. Then that means the dead are doing it too..._

"CRITIC! SHOOT HIM NOW!"

Zombie!TOG lurched again closer to Critic shrugging off bullet shots from both Cinema Snob and Linkara's guns with every ounce of determination he wanted his baby brother to join him in the walk of the living dead and feast upon the innocent human beings that plagued this world.

_...and they got you. They go you because I brought them here. All because of my stupid stubbornness to get the book and bring back Ma-Ti..._

He backed away slowly holding the gun out straight in front of him.

_JUST FUCKING CLOSE YOUR EYES AND SHOOT GODDAMMIT!_

_I did this...It was because of me that you've been infected...its because of me that-_

**_BANG!_**

He opened his eyes and there in the center of Zombie!TOG's chest, was a gaping shotgun hole that caused him to stagger backwards and fall flat on his back to the floor. Black blood that smelled like formaldehyde flowed around TOG's corpse soaking into the soft blue carpet.

"He won't be getting up for a while, I got him in the heart," Cinema Snob said to Critic as the former was snapping out of it, "I-I'm sorry Critic, I know he was your brother, and you two were close, but you weren't shooting him and he could have killed you-"

"I KNOW OKAY!" he snapped momentarily with his face all red.

Before Cinema Snob could say anything he felt his cellphone going off, who would be calling him at this hour he thought, he took it out with one hand while pointing his shotgun barrel down at the zombified That Other Guy and answered it.

"Hello?"

"Hey, um...Snob," came a very nervous voice, it was one of his pals back in Springfield,"it's Brian, listen, whatever you're doing right now, stay there. In fact, don't go back to Springfield at all. Its a death trap man. Like Dawn of the Dead over here."

"The 1978 version or the 2004 remake?"

"WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES THAT MAKE!" Brian screamed into the phone, he sounded like he was in an enclosed space scared out of his mind, "EVERYONE IS BEING EATEN ALIVE OVER HERE! EVEN THE COPS! I JUST...DON'T COME BACK! THEY. WILL. GET. YOU!"

Snob used his well-known "smooth and suggestive" voice as best he could, to try to soothe Brian down and figure out what was going on, "Brian, where are you, can you tell me what is going on over there?"

"I'm locked up in my bedroom...with a gun...and a huge case of booze, I figured that, if they found me and I was drunk, I would at least numb to the point that I wouldn't feel any pain."

"Where is Sarah, Jerrid, Jake, Mrs. Snob...where is she?" demanded Cinema Snob, "What happened to them, are they okay?"

"Jerrid got eaten, Jake took a few with him when he died- he ate some poison, and when they ate his flesh they died from the poison as well. I have no fucking clue where Sarah is at; Mrs. Snob...I don't know...I heard she left, probably escaped with Lloyd while out looking for you." Brian was acting terrified at this point, "Oh shit, I hear them coming...Snob, Snob man...before I die...I just wanted to say, I am sorry I forgot to clean out Lloyd's litter box while you were out with your Channel Awesome friends cosplaying."

"Dammit Brian...I gave you one task to do while I was gone."

"It's all over for us Snob," over the phone, Brian sounded like he was rambling at this point,"the whole wide world is going to hell, us with it..."

"Brian...Brian..."

All The Exploitation Reviewer could hear over the phone now was the sound of doors being banged against and unearthly moaning sounds. He couldn't hear Brian anymore, just the sounds of guns being shot and Zombies moaning hungrily for flesh. He screamed Brian's name over and over trying to get him to speak to him again, but all he could make out were zombies, gunshots, and screaming. A man screaming out of fear and madness.

Then, he lost the call...

He forced himself to hang up.

There was nothing he could for Brian now.

* * *

**Somewhere in Arizona**

Spoony was playing on Xbox Live using the team-speak to communicate with Angry Joe, Benzaie, and Smarty while playing CoD: Black Ops. He just finished up editing a review and sitting next to him as all good loyal puppies do, was Oreo tired out from playing with her squeak toys resting her head on her "daddy"'s lap.

Suddenly, Miles came in acting casually, or as casually as he was trying to appear from Spoony's perspective.

The first thing that he noticed was that Mile's gun was out of the holster.

"Hey Spoony, wotcha doing?" he was asking as if nothing special happened to him today.

"Oh I just finished up a grueling edit, and now taking a break playing Call of Duty: Black Ops with the Nazi zombie patch, wanna join us?" his brother replied happily.

"Oh zombies...great...nice...speaking of which uh...there is some outside...on the front yard."

"Yeah, you're shitting me right, zombies don't exist." he said.

At that moment, three zombies entered the front door closing in on the two brothers and their little puppy named for a delicious cookie. Oreo leaped off the chair and hid under the crouch. Miles reloaded his gun and opened fire on the undead intruders. Nudging his older sibling behind him protectively. One of the zombies got too close to shoot and grabbed Miles biting him in the chest nearly tearing his shirt open, he kicked the zombie in the crotch and pushed him to the floor with one hand while shooting one getting nearer to him with the other.

"Miles!" he screamed grabbing a framed picture off the shelf and smacking the third zombie in the face with it before grabbing his brother and helping him to the floor.

"I'm fine," Miles protested, "I've been through worse scraps than this, where is Dr. Insano?"

"I think he's down in his lab working on an experiment."

Miles put his hand over the chest wound.

"Doesn't he have something to teleport to another place with?"

"Yeah I think so."

"THEN GO TO THE LAB AND USE IT!" He placed the reloaded gun into Spoony's hand.

"But, you just got bitten, you can come with me and-"

"Spoony, how long have we've been watching zombie movies as kids dude, you _damn well know_ what would happen if I went with you!" He didn't know how long it would take for the infected bite to take a hold of him, in the movies those took seconds, but this was real life...wait.

He shook his head, the important thing now, was to make sure Spoony, Oreo, and Dr. Insano were safe. Even if it meant from his zombified transformation.

"Hurry, before I get all cliche and scream: _Go on save yourself_!"

"You were the best damn brother I ever had!" He hugged Miles and ran into the other room, opening up the closet he took out his gunblade and turned to the front entrance where more zombies entered in, he whistled to Oreo and the puppy jumped out and followed behind her master towards the door into the lab where Dr. Insano was as always working on an experiment.

Except this time he was taking a little coffee break when Spoony opened the door.

"Close the door, some of those chemicals are highly photo-sensitive!" he screamed.

"Gladly!" Spoony slammed the door shut and wedged it with a metal rod.

"What in Alva Eddison's name is going on here!?" screamed Dr. Insano.

"You mean to tell me you didn't hear all the moaning, breaking in, and the smell of rotting corpses up there?"

"No I was busy perfecting on my latest experiment. An army of mechanized praying mantis that shoot lasers out of their eyes, I'll patent them off to every military in the world and then, have them fighting each other and when they're wiped out...I'LL FINALLY RULE THE WORLD!"

Spoony just stared at him uninterested in the world domination scheme,"Yeah, great, whatever...we have more important things to focus on now."

The Zombies were banging against the door of the lab.

"Do you have anything new in the way of...a teleportation device?"

"Why yes," he pulled out what looked like a Smart Phone, "This device allows me to transport human matter via the digital computerized wavelengths of cellphones where others of their kind gather. With one press of a button we can transport to whatever destination we want to-provided that it syncs up with the Wi-Fi of that destination, so if we need to escape to a place with more people, we can-"

"Great! Yoink!" Spoony grabbed the cellphone and pressed the emergency number for Hotel Awesome.

"WAIT I HAVEN'T TESTED IT OUT YET-!"

But time waited for no man escaping from zombies, he held both Oreo and Dr. Insano and then with his free finger pressed the button, feeling the waves of the molecules and the invisible electrical impulses dissolve them and transport them to their destination via the signal of someone within the building holding a cellphone.

They disappeared just in time before the door gave way and the zombies entered the lab.

With a brand new turned member in tow with them.

* * *

"Snob?" Marzgurl asked concerned, she walked over and put a hand on his shoulder.

He crinkled his nose, trying not to let his fears show to the others, he always prided himself on being the stoic one. After all, he reviewed movies that were porn, gore fests and a combination of both. And through all of them he came out of it with a deadpan snark like it didn't bother him. He had to be the strong one to help them through what was obviously a zombie invasion, he couldn't be weak at this moment by revealing he was terrified. He could not at this moment.

Although inwardly, he was just laughing at himself.

Because it was nothing but a fucking joke.

"I'm fine," he brushed off Marz's hand, "Lets get the hell out of here-" he reloaded the shells into the shotgun,"- and to Hotel Awesome where we're suppose to go! The others need to be warned. Come on!"

He reloaded two shells into the shotgun and taking Critic's arm lead them out of the house and towards their destination...

**_TO BE CONTINUED_**

* * *

** A/N:** Next Chapter will have everyone gathered together talking about their escapes, arming up with weapons, worried about their friends and family back home. And we get to see the second OC in our story Angelfox the book reviewer. Also if you like Alexa, there will be more of her.

Thank you and please feel free to give me your comments, feedback and even constructive criticism if you want to. :)

I really want to make this the best TGWTG horror story I can write.


	4. Chapter 4: We Gather Here Today

**A/N:** This was a idea I had for a horror-themed "Anniversary" story line since at least the end of Suburban Knights when Critic thought about getting the Necronomicon to resurrect Ma-Ti and naturally since I am a huge of the horror-movie/Paranormal genre I definitely wanted to write this out.

**Note:** The characters portrayed here don't belong to me with the exception of two OCs reviewers Alexa and Angelfox, that were created when another friend of mine rp this story out on Skype to create the basic story structure of what will entail for our internet heroes. I mean no disrespect to any of the characters depicted here and own no rights to them, they belong to their RL counterparts and TGWTG.

_**Warning:**_Contains dark disturbing themes of supernatural/horror elements even within the context of a homage/parody/satire. Violence, gore, profanity, and awful things happening to some of your favorite characters. You have been warned.

Feedback, reviews, constructive criticism, and suggestions are very welcomed at the moment.

Thank you

* * *

**Channel Awesome, Chicago**

Spoony, Dr. Insano, and Oreo all collapsed in a heap on the floor. The Teleporting Smart Phone took them to their destination, which was the lounge area of Channel Awesome. It was where the reviewers worked and spent their weeks and weekends, when there were big crossovers or conventions to convene at. He figured that a place with lots of security and being large and bricked would provide a safe place to gather the troops as it were, without putting them in harm's way of the zombies. Spoony slowly raised his head and checked his body to make sure everything was in place.

Particularly his most important parts.

_Whew, at least Little Avatar survived..._ Spoony thought while patting around his crotch.

"It worked!" giggled Dr. Insano, "it worked, now, put in the cellphone numbers of the rest of the reviewers, press send, and Teleporting SmartPhone will do the rest."

"Okay" Spoony did as Dr. Insano instructed while Oreo stood by loyally to his master.

Pretty soon, one by one, the rest of his friends and the other contributors arrived. Some were confused others, others were acting like they were deer caught in headlights, and others were happy to see Spoony and his puppy friend.

"Oh my gosh, Spoony, she is so adorable!" PushingUpRoses said as Oreo went over and sniffed her hand curiously.

"Hey there girl!" Angry Joe said going over and petting Oreo on the head.

Spoony surveyed the people he sent here. There was PushingUpRoses, who was fawning over Oreo and Oreo in return was wagging her tail happily at all the new friends the puppy was being exposed to. With Roses was Paw, Todd, Sage, Angry Joe, Luke, Rap Critic, ChaosD1, Lupa, Nash, JO, Phelous, and Alexa for now.

Rap Critic looked around confused, "What is going on here?" he was the first to ask Spoony.

"You guys may want to find chairs or beanbags," he said, "because you're not going to believe this..."

* * *

***"Dawn 'Angelfox' Inwood decided to perfect her book review videos on YouTube since she received a webcam from her sister-in-law as a Christmas present. She was chosen by Channel Awesome, a well-known web hosting site in Chicago, Illinois for her general knowledge of reviewing young adult and nostalgic children's picture books. One day at nine in the morning, she left the Sandleford National Airport in Virginia and arrive in Illinois at 5:30 pm local time..."**

..._Feels like my ears are burning, someone back home must be talking about me I bet._ The book reviewer thought to herself. Walking her way out of the airport with her suitcase and carry-on.

She was known as "Angelfox" on a few internet reviewing circles. A combination of her two favorite things: angels and her favorite animal. Angelfox mostly prided herself on being a book nerd-someone who reviewed books and has an interest in literature that would fuel most library goers. Like Alexa, she started on Youtube, where she also met the country music reviewer, subscribing and chatting conversely until they became good online friends. So when word came out that she was to join Channel Awesome along with Alexa, she was happy. However, a family emergency caused her to arrive at Chicago a bit later than expected; she was so concerned in trying to arrive to Chicago safely without any hiccups, that she barely had a chance to call or receive any calls on her phone. At least for the Teleport Smartphone device to transport her to Hotel Awesome.

Provided that her number was in the call log in the first place.

The moment she walked outside, the wind blew violently and a crumbled up piece of newspaper smacked her in the side of the face. She peeled it off. It was all ready night and a cloudy dark sky was casting overhead. Hopefully, a cab would be able to spot her and give her a ride to the Hotel Awesome before a lightning storm hit. But it was odd, the weather reports never said anything about a thunder or lightning storm happening in Chicago that night. However, the wind roared with uncontrollable tempest fury and her long, curly, dark-brown hair became like the hair of Medusa. Unfurling; whipping around her face wildly like it had a life of their own.

The first thing the Virginian Book Reviewer observed was that the streets were deserted. Which seemed unusual for a place like Chicago.

As a matter of fact, only a small handful of people had been seen in the airport when she arrived.

"Deserted streets, half-empty airport," she muttered to herself, "The economy isn't turning us into a Third World nation THAT quickly. What's the deal here?"

Walking down the street, came a middle-aged woman with red wavy short-hair a fancy scarf and a black buttoned down overcoat with white khakis. She had her head down with her hair over her face, and hunched over as she went. Her footsteps were uneven and would sometimes sway from back and forth on broken heels. Angelfox put down her bags and approached the woman carefully. For all she knew, she might have been a drunk, or on drugs (hopefully not bath salts) and might act out unpredictably. She stopped in mid-step when a strong pungent scent hit her nose. Crinkling it up. Angelfox didn't want to offend the woman by making gagging sounds when the smell overcame her. But it wasn't the scent of any strong perfume or body spray reacting chemically to the redheaded woman but...something... moldy about her.

"Excuse me, ma'am," she asked, "perhaps you can help me, I noticed that there is not a lot of people around and is there a cab service or a bus transit that I can call, you see I am looking for a particular building and-"

The Redheaded Woman, upon getting dangerously close to Angelfox grabbed her by the wrists with both hands and looked up; revealing sunken eyed, jawbone exposed, rotten pale fleshy face up staring straight into Angelfox's own terrified blue eyes.

_No! This isn't real! This isn't really happening! _

Angelfox, while trying to struggled from the zombie lady's bony vice grip, letting out a blood-curdling scream.

Quickly thinking, the book reviewer kicked the tip of her boots into the zombie's stomach, knocking her down, twisting her hands this way and that, Angelfox released herself from the zombie woman's grip, taking out her car keys and holding it like a stabbing instrument. She heard the sound of moaning coming from inside the airport and turned to see a couple of people that she previously walked by-men, women, and even small children. Pressing up against the glass door, their decomposing brains unable to comprehend opening the door. Slamming loudly on the glass door.

Angelfox turned around and ran as fast as she could and as far away as she could, soon as the zombie woman began slowly climbing to her feet once more. The book reviewer continued to run, looking for help, anyone, anyone at all that could tell her clearly what was going on. Unfortunately, the boots she was wearing were not assisting her much and now a fresh batch of zombies were coming out of alleyways with their scent zoomed in on her. She needed a place to hide. Anywhere. Anywhere at all.

Up ahead was a medium-sized brick church.

"Oh thank god!" she cried, running to the church and smashed the stain-glass door window in to reach through and unlock the clasp from the inside.

Angelfox squeezed in through the door before the zombies could make it up the staircase, barring it from the inside with a chair.

_Zombies are ward off by holy things like crosses...right? _

She ran down to the palpate hoping to find a priest, pastor, maybe even a janitor that would help her.

"Sanctuary!" She screamed, "SANCTUARY! I AM NOT JOKING AROUND HERE!"

She looked around no one came out for her.

"Sanctuary?" She asked again in a frightened meek voice.

The zombies were swarming around the stain-glass church windows on the side scratching the glass and looking multi-color through the finely decorated opaque glass. Angelfox stayed at the palpate, near the podium. Next to it was two elongated candelabra on each side of the podium. The book reviewer grabbed for the nearest one causing the unlit candle wicks to fall out and held it out in front of her with both hands in a defensive stance.

* * *

Critic and his group of four traversed across the zombie-laden streets of Chicago, picking off as many as there were in their way and avoiding larger groups that could easily outnumber them. As well as reach Hotel Awesome, they also were on the lookout for survivors- those who didn't evacuate Chicago or were spared by zombies that they could join in their group for more of a fighting advantage. Somewhere during that time, they broke into a pawn stop and along with resupplying their ammo, Chick got herself a hunting bow and large amount of arrows to defend herself with. Which prompted Critic asked if she ever took archery before, Chick said no but "I have seen Hunger Games enough to know how to put these through a man's skull." and that topic was soon dropped.

Meanwhile, along the way towards Channel Awesome, the five man troop keep going until Critic, upon passing the church whispers to them to get down and shut up, pushing them into the shrubs. Before any could question what was going on, Critic pointed up at the small brick church up ahead were a small handful of zombies were gathering around it trying to get inside.

"Why would zombies want to get inside a church?" Marzgurl asked,"What is that all about?"

"I am not sure," Critic whispered, "but I am sure it's probably because there is something inside of there."

"Another survivor?"

"Perhaps, if there is a random survivor in there, shouldn't we help them?." Linkara reasoned, "after all, we can use all the help we can get, besides, if there was someone in there, we can't just leave them in there for the zombies to break in and eat."

"Right," Snob said taking out his shotgun, "let's go..."

"Wait," Chick asked, "how do we know there_ may_ be a survivor in there, or a lone one at that, inside?"

"Its possible, why else would the zombies be gathering around that church then?" Marzgurl asked.

"Maybe they're Pentecostal?" Critic shrugged.

"Well, whatever is going on," Snob said, "they want something in that church...it must be pretty damn important, let's go check it out."

Cinema Snob at that moment, stood up and shot two zombies in the head, once the others were distracted away from the front door, Linkara and Chick ran to it while Critic and Marzgurl joined Snob in dispatching the zombies. Chick covered for Linkara taking out a few with her arrows until they got up the cement steps of the church's front door and tried to open it.

"Its locked on the inside, "Linkara noted, "someone must be in there..."

* * *

Inside the church, Angelfox could hear the sound of gunshots and people talking. People. Not zombies. Honest to god. PEOPLE. Outside the church's front yard. They were yelling at the door. Asking if anyone was in there. She couldn't let this moment go by. They had to know she was in here. Running down the aisle towards the front door, she was just about to reach it when she found herself falling on the carpet and landing on her stomach, the candelabra thrust out of her hands in the fall. She looked to see an old woman zombie crawl out from underneath the pew with a bony decaying hand gripped around her ankle. Trying to pull her underneath the pew and devour her flesh, the book reviewer shrieked and quickly grabbed the legs of the other pews to keep from being pulled under. From the corner of her eye was the candelabra laying there.

Perhaps she could reach out and grab it while still gripping the legs of the pew for dear life.

* * *

Outside as they reached up the steps to the front door, Chick could hear the sound of someone screaming in distress.

"Linkara, you hear that!"

"Yeah," he said, getting into his usual heroic mode, "Stand back and cover me while I break the door down!"

Linkara body slammed against the double doors, while Chick had her back to him ready to shoot any zombies that got near them. Critic, Cinema Snob, and Marzgurl did their best to work together and fight off the rest of the zombies. Marzgurl hacking at the limbs and head while Critic and Cinema Snob putting the bullets into the zombie's lifeless brains.

One zombie got a little close to the steps and Chick took the pleasure of putting an arrow between its eyes.

One last hit and Linkara slammed his shoulder right through the door making the chair give way and forcing him inside the church, where he saw a pretty young brunette woman on the floor grabbing the pew and trying to keep from being dragged underneath it by a scary-looking old zombie woman while trying to reach for a candelabra on the ground within a fingertip's reach of her. Linkara shot his gun in the air to get the zombie's attention.

"I believe the lady said no, she would not like you eating her brains!" Linkara said heroically.

The zombie growled at him.

"Come get some!" He said daring the zombie to attack him instead of the girl.

The zombie, seeing a thicker, meatier man compared to this skinny willowy young girl, choose her better meal ticket and abandoned the female survivor lunged at Linkara. Knocking him to the floor and pinning him down snapping her jaws at his throat. He maneuvered the gun to point at her face. However, the zombie ravenously bit down on the gun's barrel, causing Margaret to panic and go off shooting the air missing its target.

"Now is the time to panic Margaret!" he yelled at the gun.

Suddenly, he heard the sound of something long sharp and metal stab through the zombie's back and through her chest, spraying blood out and over his chest. It slumped over on its side revealing half of the candelabra's holder impaled into the old zombie lady and the female survivor standing over Linkara. Holding her out her hand to help him up.

"Nice work," Linkara said to her accepting the hand, "though it probably would have worked better if you stabbed it through the head."

"Um okay, to be honest, I was kinda aiming for the heart." the girl replied.

"Fair enough," he said getting up, "are you hurt?"

"No, I don't think so," she said, "but thank you for helping me back there."

"Anytime," he said gratefully, "I am always ready to lend a helping hand, stick with me and me and my friends here will get you to where you need to go safely."

"Safely, do you know the way to Channel Awesome?"

Linkara stared at her, "Y-Yeah. In fact, we were on our way there, but why do you ask?"

"Well I-"

"LINKARA! LADY! LOOK OUT!" Chick ran in screaming at them.

Sure enough, the old zombie woman rose up letting out another hellish shriek. Linkara pulled The Brunette Woman towards him protectively as the lady gripped both hands on the long metal rod and pulled it out of her chest, or at least as far as the bottom could go with a sickening squishy sound. It kept her from pulling it out entirely, with a few little tugs, the old zombie woman snapped the thing in half letting the feet of the long candelabra fall to the ground and the rest of the pole removed and tossed aside. The Old Zombie Woman was both angry and hungry, but instead of going after the young woman she grabbed her and tossed her aside into the pew lunging at Linkara instead. Linkara shot crazily at the old woman grabbing him in her deathly cold grip.

Linkara struggled, pulling himself out of the zombie's grip as much as he could. He pressed his gun against the women's hand but she grabbed his wrist and stabbed those sharp bony fingers of hers into his skin until they bled.

"Shit!" Chick swore under her breath as she took an arrow and fixed it onto her bow.

Chick drew the string back but the old zombie woman was dangerously close to Linkara, if she misaimed then it would hit Linkara. But if she didn't act quickly, both the comic book geek and the woman they came in to save would get killed and eaten.

Perhaps if she called attention to the zombie.

Get it to go at her instead of Linkara.

Seeing some of the lighted candles in their fancy metal holders, gave her a lovely wicked idea.

She smirked.

* * *

Outside, Snob and Marzgurl had their backs to each other hacking, shooting, and stabbing the zombies with Critic shooting them all in the head.

"Get closer to the church!" Critic said, "We will hide out in there with the other two!"

"Provided that they are not eaten already" Snob grumbled under his breath

A zombie grabbed Critic from behind but he flipped his gun around shot its jaw off leaving a trailing tongue and gurgling sounds. He pushed the zombie away and shot it a second time blowing a chunk of its head off. He was more determined to shot these zombies, perhaps to blow the brains of the one that bit his brother. His Brother. And make it rue the day it ever thought of using The Other Guy as a tasty snack. His rage coupled with his inner guilty torment was his engine tearing a bullet through any zombie that dared got near him.

"YOU WANT THIS! THAN COME AND GET IT YOU FUCKING SONS OF BITCHES!" He screamed, "I am not going without a fight..." **_BANG BANG BANG_**

* * *

"HEY SHE-BITCH!"

The old woman zombie looked up and saw a woman with long dark hair welding a hunting bow drawing back an arrow with a lit candlestick tied to it. Secured by ponytail holders.

"EAT THIS!"

Releasing Linkara by shoving him to the floor, the zombie advanced on Chick who released the arrow and it struck the old woman, the flames from the candle caught on and engulfed her face in flames fed on by the dry hair and tattered dress she wore the thrashing around in agony from being immolated alive did nothing more than continue fanning the flames even more. The zombie started running wildly towards the open door prompting Chick to leap out of the way and allow the old undead woman to run out of the church, leaping off the concrete steps and collapse on the grass returning back to the earth as nothing now but a burning corpse.

Any surviving zombies that saw the flames backed away from the sight of it and retreated away from the humans.

"The fuck!" Critic said, breaking from his trigger happy moment for a bit to see the burning corpse.

Inside, Chick ran over to the pew where the young woman was thrown into. She suffered a gash on her head where she struck the un-cushioned seat. Blood trickled down the side of the girl's face even as she applied pressure to it. Chick helped her out of the pew and walked her over to Linkara.

"Is ...Is the old zombie woman dead now?" The brunette lady asked them.

"It should be now...Thanks Chick." Linkara smiled.

"Don't mention it," she shrugged, "I didn't know if it would work or not, but I figured it was more practical than dancing around in a white wedding dress dressed up as Arwen and pretending to speak in elvish monologues."

The brunette was confused, "Uh, what is she talking about?"

"It's a long story," Linkara shrugged off, "come on, you can join up with us, there is safety in numbers."

"That sounds good" She said smiling.

* * *

Critic, Snob, and Margurl raced up to the cement steps of the church just in time to see Linkara carrying out a female survivor with a gash on her head, with Chick following close behind them.

"Don't worry, her legs are fine, it's just that he wanted to be the one to carry her out like the heroes in the movies do," Chick explained when the other three gave her a strange look, "so I humored him and let him do it."

"So I take it there was a nasty scuffle in there then?" Critic observed looking at the cut on Angelfox's forehead and the dry blood that painted the side of her face.

"Yeah," the female survivor replied, "but she saved us!"

"You might say I attributed to the burning zombie corpse laying out here." Chick smirked looking over at the burning body of the smoldering old lady that was now nothing by faint glowing embers and wispy black smoke.

Linkara put the girl's feet back on the ground.

Cinema Snob approached the female survivor, "Hello, I am the Cinema Snob, you're probably already aware of some of my reviews."

"Hi, I am Angelfox, at least that is what they call me online at least, I love your work, and Lloyd is my favorite part of the review, he is so cute."

"Thank you-wait, 'online' what do you do online?"

"I review books online," explained Angelfox, "sometimes other things like educational children's shows or little skits."

"So you're a internet reviewer too?" Linkara questioned, "like us?"

"Yep.."

Critic stepped in front of Cinema Snob, "Nice to meet you Angelfox, I am the Nostalgia Critic, you might say I am the 'de-facto leader' of this group here, that is a pretty username, where are you from?"

"Virginia, I just arrived an hour ago, I was supposed to head to this place called Hotel Awesome; my friend and I got signed up, Linkara here said you would know the way."

"Wait, your friend?" Critic asked.

"Yes, Alexa, she does country music reviews. She said she arrived there faster than I did, she must have been really excited to join the site. I was following the email I got by heading to Channel Awesome, when I went face to face with a zombie upon stepping out of the airport, and then I ended up running into that church because it was the safest place I knew. And was the closest."

"Well, we're from Channel Awesome, and we are on our way there. You can come with us if you like." Marzgurl replied.

"Wonderful, thank you, I-!"

Suddenly the wind grew strong and cold again, kicking up the dry leaves swirling them around the reviewers. The burning zombie corpse started to levitate off of the ground. Her dark hollow eyes now burning with a strange red glow like the light emanating from the carved out cavity of a Jack-O-Lantern. Speaking with a message of doom from her guttural growl and eirrey gnashing of teeth.

_**{YOU ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!}**_

They drew out their weapons

_**{YOU MAY KILL ME! BUT SHE WILL BRING ABOUT YOUR END! AND LEAD US INTO A NEW REALM OF SCREAMING AGONY!}**_

Critic felt as if he was going to wet his pants, but he gulped down his fear of this monstrous message of doom, and stepped forward to confront this burned zombie corpse: "What are you talking about...what realm of screaming agony...I demand you tell us who this she is!"

But the Corpse of Doom exploded into a dry crusty chunks of body parts before it could tell them anymore. And landed back on the ground. The wind died and the leaves settled.

"What was that all about?" Angelfox asked.

Critic starred at the dismembered chunks of the corpse. His mind reeling back to thoughts of facing his own zombified brother. He clutched his coat tightly and backed away grabbing the female survivor by the hand, "Okay, that is it, no stopping, no waiting, we...let's go!"

They turned away and headed on with a new member in their group.

Their five-man group became six.

* * *

A dark cloudy sky cast overhead the Channel Awesome building by the time the six of them managed to arrive, from the first floor window, Angry Joe poked his head out and pointed his gun downward, only to stop his finger on the trigger when he recognized them.

"Hey I know that ugly face," Angry Joe said jovially,"and you brought some of the others-" he yelled back over his shoulder, "-hey open it up its Critic, Chick, Linkara and Marzgurl!"

"Who was that?" Angelfox asked as the revolving glass door unlocked allowing them to enter.

"That is Angry Joe," explained Cinema Snob, "from the Angry Joe army, he is one of the video game reviewers, good guy to have with you in a fight."

They went inside into the lobby where there were other reviewers there, even some from their oversea countries (MikeJ, Film Brain, Benzaie, SadPanda, and Welshy) that had joined them. A small back and white puppy ran up and jumped on Marzgurl licking her face as if it knew her. The dog then went over to Angelfox tried to do the same.

"Oreo, bad girl, what have I said about you jumping on people," Spoony said walking over,"sorry about that."

Linkara and Spoony took no time to do a brohug.

"Great to see you're safe Spoony," Linkara said smiling, "but how did you and everyone else get here so fast?"

"I will explain that!" Dr. Insano said nudging in between them, "you see I have invented a device, that will make the teleportation of human beings easy and productive! I have mixed the computerized communication waves of a cellphone next to the transition beams on Linkara's ship especially in the transportation room. And it works! IT WORKS!"

"Can I see that?" Critic asked curiously.

"NO! Its bad enough I have to deal with Spoony, but to have your grubby non-intellectual fingers smudging it up, it will NOT STAND Critic...I have heard enough infamous stories with your technology and the ever proceeding situation of dropping them in the toilet with your butterfingers. Forget it!"

"Oh it only happened one time!" he scoffed.

Spoony rolled his eyes and walked away with Linkara for a bit to talk.

Chick and Marzgurl went to help the ones whose duties were assigned to boarding up the doors and windows on the ground floor. Nash and ERod used their hammers to keep the nails in place and tight so that neither zombie or other evil creature would get through. While JewWario, ChaosD1, and JO gathered some nails and boards to be used as barricades.

Angry Joe took some of the reviewers that did not have anything to defend themselves with into his weapon room to choose a weapon of their liking they could use to fight against the forces of evil. Others who weren't comfortable using guns, got creative and used whatever of theirs they could find to make into weaponry.

Paw had a couple of headphones that he owned for some time, he took one of the bigger ones that didn't work anymore and swung it around to use as a homemade bolo weapon. Roses had some game controllers she used as nunchucks. They were ready for anything.

Phelous went over to Lupa, "Hey guess what?" He said with a glee

"What?"

"I GOT A SHOTGUN!" He held it up proudly.

"Phelous, that is a hunting rifle." Obscurus Lupa told him matter-of-factly.

"Yeah well...Angry Joe didn't have a shotgun and I didn't want to be a copy cat to Snob or whatever." he shrugged in a deadpan manner.

Obscurus Lupa let Phelous off to do whatever while fashioning a pair of spiked knuckles she got from Angry Joe's stash around her hands.

Alexa walked into Angry Joe's room looking for a good weapon to arm herself with.

"Well hello little lady," Angry Joe said smiling, "do I have something for you!"

He took out a sword.

"Nice, light-weight and a good handle for even the most daintiest of hands-"

Alexa passed him and went straight for the homemade flame thrower hanging up on the wall. On the back was the fuel (two small propane funnels tied together) and levers to adjust the heat of the flames, while attached to a long heatproof tube was the nozzle to spit it out and handles to guide the flames toward its target. Alexa took it and put it over her shoulders and grasped the nozzle firmly but carefully. Adjusting the straps to her shoulders as Angry Joe watched.

"Well...I mean, as long as you know how to use it. That is the most important thing." Angry Joe chuckled nervously still holding the sword.

"Oh don't worry, my dad taught me how to use one of these babies back in New Mexico." answered Alexa.

ChaosD1 walked by them, "Oh a sword, sweet, can I have it?"

"Here you go." Angry Joe let Chaos take it off his hands.

ChaosD1 thanked him and walked off happily.

Alexa thanked Angry Joe and walked out of the room down the hall to see if she could offer some assistance. As she did, she noticed a few of the guys crowding around someone. Curious, Alexa walked towards the crowd seeing that they were talking and asking questions to someone. Angry Joe has said earlier that Critic, Linkara and their little group rescued a survivor. Alexa wanted to see who this person was and if they would be any use to them. Hopefully, Critic at least checked to make sure the survivor didn't have any bite marks or any sign of an infection from the zombie attacks. He wouldn't be that fool hardly to do that, wouldn't he?

Alexa weaved through the group of internet reviewers and peered between the shoulders of Handsome Tom and Phelous to see who it was. The survivor was a young girl with dark-brown curly hair. A pretty girl obviously. It made sense now that the guys (and a few of the ladies) would crowd around her, Alexa scoffed inwardly to herself, she was wearing a long gray coat over a white blouse and a long plaid black and white skirt that went down to her knees. Her boots would not make for much running she noted. She would have to scold the survivor for that. She had a small butterfly bandage on the left side of her forehead and it looked as if any blood that was there was already cleaned off her face.

Around her neck was a smiley face pendant with a small halo and angel wings...

Wait...

"Angel?" She whispered, she spoke louder, "Angel...Angelfox! Hey you made it in one piece!"

The girl looked up at who was speaking to her, she smiled and pushed aside the guys to get to her online friend and hugged her tightly.

"ALEXA!" she beamed happily, "I am so glad you made it safely, I thought the zombies got you!"

Alexa hugged her back tightly.

"No they didn't, Spoony used a device from Dr. Insano to transport us here, I wouldn't let those corpse-walkers get anywhere near me, if I can help it."

Nash spoke up, "What I don't get is where they came from, I mean, Spoony told us mostly what happened, but the question is...what is causing them to come back from their graves all of a sudden?"

Linkara was leaning against a wall examining his magic gun and looked over at Critic who paled considerably, "Yeah Critic, tell them how they are coming back."

"..." Critic looked away.

"Critic," sighed Linkara, "they need to know the truth."

Critic and Linkara stared at each other for a while. There was no way that any of them could fight the zombies without knowing sooner or later. And Linkara was so goddamn determined to be the goddamn honest hero. He knew that if he didn't say it the comic book reviewer would. But, deep down Critic knew why he didn't have the heart to tell them. The same reason he couldn't dare shoot his brother back there. Because it was his fault. And the loved ones that had risen from the grave that they would be forced to kill. It was because of him. They would tear him apart just as his guilty conscience was tearing his heart apart. How could they help him now, when it was because of him that they were in this predicament.

Would they throw him to the creatures?

And the two newbies...signed up to the site only to be nothing more than a club sandwich for the zombies?

"Okay," he let out a sigh, "I DID IT!"

Everyone stared at him shocked, curious, demanding of a million questions to be asked.

"What," Angelfox asked, "But how?"

Critic blurted it all out, answering to everyone not just Angelfox in particular, "Chester A Bum and I were looking for the Necronomicon, we looked everywhere until we found out that Linkara had it and I begged him to let me use it to resurrect Ma-Ti!"

Everyone gave Critic their attention at this point.

"But something went wrong and now zombies who are not Ma-Ti are popping up all over Chicago attacking everything and everyone within reach of them!"

"Chicago wasn't the only place that got attacked by zombies." Spoony grumbled until a calming hand from PushingUpRoses eased him down a bit.

"YES I DID IT!" Critic screamed letting everything out, "I DID IT! I MADE MY FUCKING BROTHER INTO A ZOMBIE! I GOT HALF OF TEAM SNOB MURDERED! AND...AND...YEAH, YEAH THAT ZOMBIE BITCH IS RIGHT! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!"

Welshy grabbed Critic by his coat collar and slammed him up against the wall.

"YOU SON OF A BITCH!" He hissed, "Of course it didn't work! Ma-Ti's remains were cremated there was no body for it to work on! The Necronomicon needs a body to resurrect...a whole body!"

SadPanda looked at them with an indifference, "Now now boys, you're feeding the fangirls now."

Cinema Snob gave SadPanda a silencing look before he runs over and pulls Welshy off of him keeping them arms length from each other. Both were breathing heavily from their brash interaction with each other.

"Look," Critic said,"I will fix it!"

"How, how are you going to fix it?" Welshy asked sternly.

"I don't know, maybe there is something in the book that will reverse it, " he said searching the pockets inside his coat, "a counterspell...anything."

He searched his coat, his pants, anywhere on his body. Then, it hit him like a sledgehammer in the back of the head. He had dropped it, he had dropped it when they were at Ma-Ti's funeral area when the wind grew violent and the skeletal hand came out of the ground and tried to grab him.

_And the book...the book...THE BOOK!?_

_THE BOOK!? OH FUCK THE BOOK! _

He didn't have it on him.

"Shit..."

"You lost the book?"

"Yes"

"We're fucking dead." Someone said in the back

Nash couldn't help but scream it: "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?"

Critic slid down against the wall burying his face in his hands, he definitely must have dropped it in fear when they ran to his house. Now it was gone. Who knows who else had it or if it wasn't torn apart by the elements already. If he...if they all wanted to survive this night. They had to find the book.

"I am sorry okay...look I want to fix it but...I can't do it alone, I have no idea where the book is or how to reverse the spell, that is why I need all of your help...please."

It was a snowball's chance in Hell if they would help him now at this point

* * *

**Haganistan**

The Mistress walked towards her throne of bones and spikes, every step brought fear to her victims and loyalty to her minions. Word reached her in America that one of the Internet Reviewers-The Nostalgia Critic had uncovered the infamous Book of the Dead.

The time was now to go to Chicago and obtain this unholy tome.

Her home was a dark nightmarish landscape and architecture of tall black stony columns and strange statues that decorated the long winding corridors of the compound. Statues of strange horrific beasts and beautiful naked women. Which some say were carved from the molten metal and molded onto real female victims whom the mistress found appealing in her gaze. So she could immortalize them forever in bronze. Minions of all shapes and sizes scattered around bowing to her whenever she passed them by, they were fiercely loyal and never dared speak to her unless spoken to. Two of her closest minions stood by the throne. Making sure that not one minion stepped out of line and sat in it. For it was a sign of disrespect if they did.

She sat down on her throne and leaned back in her chair crossing her legs.

Diamanda snapped her fingers and the smaller minon quickly got to his hands and knees becoming a humanized footstool for The Mistress to rest her feet upon. While the bigger fatter one named Teddy came up to her.

"Is everything ready for us to go Teddy?"

The larger minion spoke in a kind of lisp that seemed to be an extension of his intelligence and maturity, "Y-Yesh Mistressh, we are all ready to go on a trip. I love going on trips. They are so nice and fun. Its like going on a magical adventure...but with no unicorns. But you don't like unicorns I remember. Unless they're mean and dark and cause nasty mischief"

"Teddy, is the portal ready?" she barked, "I want to get there without putting up a fuss at the airport, I swear those pillocks misplaced my suitcase full of syringes filled with morphine. Fucking bastards! You know how long it took to finally get those syringes back from that family from Wisconsin...WITH the morphine still in it mind you?"

"Everything is ready for your journey Mistress...but if Teddy can maybe ask a tiny question..uhhh, where are we going?"

"Teddy, we are going to visit some very special people...well maybe not special like you, but some people who found something I want. And we are going to take it." explained Diamanda Hagan, "this thing they have is called...The Book of the Dead. And it will help me keep my place as supreme overlord of this entire world-and kill anyone who stands in my way."

"How will it do that Mistress?"

"Well Teddy, this book is linked to creatures that can render men's minds unstable, so out of control they will not think or act straight to do anything productive. They are like mindless fanboys only less violent and more compliant and easy to keep a reign on. Once I summon The Great Old Ones and use their powers to make every army, world leader, and powerful nation bow to me...my realm will stretch over this land and be unstoppable forever!"

"Wow Mistress, that is a great idea," Teddy clapped his hands bouncing up and down happily,"but wait, you didn't mention where the book was. How do we find it?"

"Don't worry your little numskull head about a thing," Diamanda said petting him condescendingly on the top of his head, "I have a important contact that will take care of things over in Chicago until I get there."

* * *

Back in Chicago, in the open area, where the Critic performed the incantation that brought about the zombies. A tall menacing figure with a blue velvet robe and red Ascot loomed over a book laying on the ground. He grinned wickedly. For he knew that this was the book The Mistress had asked him to procure. In exchange for his share of wealth, power, and delightful "treats" to his heart content, he had agreed to her...

Oh wait, she didn't say "help" no..."helping" was a sign of weakness, which she was not. He would aid, yes that is it, aid her with her plans. In exchange he would have all he wanted.

Ask That Guy grinned devilishly and leaned down to pick up the book, he carefully tucked it under his robe for safe keeping...

The Lecher Bitch would be pleased with him.

**_TO BE CONTINUED_**

**_A/N:_**To all those that have read this fic up to this chapter so far, thank you for your comments, favs, and following, I am glad you guys are having fun reading this.

*This is based off of the opening credit quote from "Suspiria" a movie by Dario Argento (which I recommend to any horror fans out there) where the narrator talks about the main character arriving in Germany where the movie takes place while the soundtrack by the musical group "Goblins" plays over it. Its one of my favorite horror movies and the best I can describe it is "Genuine gory horror with a candy color-coated setting"


	5. Chapter 5: Here Lies Our Alliance

**A/N:** This was a idea I had for a horror-themed "Anniversary" story line since at least the end of Suburban Knights when Critic thought about getting the Necronomicon to resurrect Ma-Ti, and naturally, since I am a huge of the horror-movie/Paranormal genre I definitely wanted to write this out.

**Note:** The characters portrayed here don't belong to me with the exception of two OCs reviewers: Alexa and Angelfox, that were created when another friend of mine rp this story idea out on Skype to create the basic structure of what will entail for our internet heroes. I mean no disrespect to any of the characters depicted here and own no rights to them, they belong to their RL counterparts and TGWTG.

_**Warning:**_Contains dark disturbing themes of supernatural/horror elements even within the context of a homage/parody/satire. Violence, gore, profanity, and awful things happening to some of your favorite characters. You have been warned.

*In this chapter especially I am taking creative liberties with the contents that may be within the Necronomicon, most particularly the "Trifecta of Horror' just for the sake of story.

Feedback, reviews, constructive criticism, and suggestions are very welcomed at the moment.

Thank you

* * *

_**Chicago**_

The streets ran red with blood. Over the darkened sanguine cloudy sky, creatures of grotesque humanistic forms rose up and dragged any non-infected human out of their homes and feasted upon their flesh and organs. The weak, the strong, the young, the old, the women and men. The fear of the zombie is not its appearance. But its lack of boundaries. Its mindless violence toward those it once could have held as friends, loved ones, a fellow decent human being. They ignored the cries and pleas of their victims drowned out by their hunger for flesh. Any other creature from a horror movie could at least have some grip of humanity attached to it. Maybe even feel a tad bit of compassion in killing their prey. But not the zombies. They saw nothing but thick meaty flesh. Felt nothing but gnawing hunger that was uncontrollable.

They killed...and they will never stop killing.

That is what the young teenage girl felt she had been dragged out of her house, before that she was relaxing in her room reading one of the new paranormal romance novels (which was nothing more than another Twilight rip-off) until they broke in and dragged her from her bed as she screamed. During the struggle, they broke her legs to keep her from running, and ripped her skin off, tearing away at her flesh like she was nothing more than a bucket of KFC chicken. Chewing into the cartilage and dismembering her corpse to feed upon her. No matter how much she cried and begged for help. No one would help this young teenager, she was already dead.

The Chicago Police Department were equipped to handle anything of course. Hostage situations, terrorist threats, Robberies, Murders...well...maybe not these kind of murders. Anything really. But upon shooting at these creatures, each one dead, another bit his victim and replaced the fallen zombie companion. Not even the police dogs were spared. They were the easiest to dispatch. Five zombies would grab one maybe two and literally rip their guts out with their own teeth. Treating it like eating a roasted turkey at a Thanksgiving dinner.

Ripping the legs apart.

Peeling the raw meat from the bone.

What few remaining cops there were ran back to the safety of the Police Department.

But they didn't make it that far.

Small handful of humans grabbed whatever valuables they could and ran into the wooded areas of the game preserve. Thinking that the zombies wouldn't get them there. But the howl of beasts and primitive animals moved in the shadows. Stalking a weary unsuspecting human, watching for that exact moment that they let their guard down, made a dumb mistake and were circled; ripped to shreds.

The sound of their howls signaling their approach.

The last thing you ever saw were glowing red eyes and bright pearly white fangs that sank into your chest pulling back the skin to reveal your ribcage housing your organs, but the growling hunger of satisfaction was snide humor to these predatory beasts and they used the strength of their fangs to break apart the bones of the ribcage and sink deeply into the heart, lungs, stomach...the acidic contents spilled as two would play tug of war and the lining tore apart. The guts pulled out by a third hungry and cowardly stealing from a kill it took no part in.

Like a pack of mangy wolves.

But, if you thought humans were innocent, they only had to fear the monsters and "things that go "bump in the night" you would be wrong. Dead Wrong. You see. This night awoke something else in people. It awoken the darkness within them. Darkness that they repressed from civil society. Darkness that they longed to have. But only lived vicariously through writing stories and watching movies. They put in words, in music, in acting. This power that had been unleashed unto the world...awoken the darkness and helped encourage its rising. People lashed out at others, people who on the outside were nice, quiet, shy suddenly became raging psychopaths and one little tip made them attack their own families and loved ones without the help of internet anonymity. Often in sadistic ways. Woman took knives from the kitchen and stabbed their men to death literally castrating their manhood until the men died of shock from ultimate blood loss. Children were shoved into the ovens. Gas ovens of course and turned on the switches. Men strangled and beat their women to death shoving them in freezers. Children murdered to death their own parents as they slept setting fire to the mattresses and letting the fire spread from room to room until the house they had grown up with wholesome memories-burned to the ground. Not even their own grandparents were spared. The Necronomicon spread the epidemic of horror, violence and madness upon humanity. Those who had a small will of wickedness. Foul thoughts, and desires. Even the most mischievous were lured by the darknesses sick desires. It all festered and boiled to the surface of their hearts. Taking them over.

Hell on Earth had been achieved in one night.

* * *

Hagan and two of her minions arrived upon the downtown streets of Chicago in the residential district. The blood puddles made soft _splishy-splashy _sounds when she walked through them in her boots. She cared not for the bodies piled around her dying from the zombie feeding frenzy. Others that were lucky, would either be bitten enough to rise up and kill to satisfy their own hunger. While some were still alive with their insides eaten out, wailing in pain and reaching out hoping for the sweet release of death to take them.

"Help me..." A man croaked, holding what was left of his insides inside the hollowed out cavity that was his belly, he saw Diamanda Hagan and in his delirium, thinking she was the angel of death from biblical textbooks reached his hand out to her.

"Help me...please...take the pain away..."

Hagan stopped and looked down at the man.

He was just a guy. Nothing special about him. His small beard was stained with blood and his glasses askew and broken. Just as he was.

His wheezing death rattle sound when he breathed was getting on her nerves though.

"h...e..lp...me..."

"Mistress...I know CPR!" Teddy chimed in but Hagan tuned it out and took out her gun.

She pointed the barrel at the head of the gutted man and shot him point-blank in the face. The glasses shattered into pieces as the man flopped back to the ground dead in a puddle of his own blood.

"There," she said putting the gun away, "I helped you."

The intro to "The Lecher Bitch" by Genitorture started to play on her ringtone and picked up the phone.

"Yes?"

"I am in the blue two-story house on the left, take a right on Third Street Avenue and go down until you see House number 123-"

"123?"

"Hey, it's the writer's idea not mine," said the voice on the other end speaking to her, "enter inside and there will be a small mini-bar down in basement. The house will have a white picket fence."

She hung up and barked for her minions to follow her as she followed the instructions the man on the phone gave her. The minions sniffed and nibbled on a few dead bodies until she smacked them in the head to comply and keep following behind her until they reached House 123 and she walked inside.

It looked like the scene of a murder,, a dead man covered in blood is sitting in the green polyester comfy chair in front of a tv set showing nothing but static snow. He looked as if he had been shot in the back of the head, as the head was lolled forward and there was more blood stained around the back and top of the chair than anyone else on it. Looking around, finding nothing of interest to Hagan-well, except maybe a woman hanging from the ceiling of the dining room table by a series of pearl necklaces strung together around her neck like a noose, she saw a doorway with a carpeted staircase leading down into a den where it must have been once the man of the house's "man cave" with a mini-bar, a couch, and a larger tv set. Flatscreen it was.

The phone rang again.

"Yes, I am here, now what?"

"Look behind you."

As she turned she saw Ask That Guy pop out from behind the desk of the minibar like a macabre toy from a Jack-In-The-Box with his wide Cheshire grin and eyes that seemed to stare out into nothingness. She walked over and accepted the glass of martini he offered to her.

"Ahhh, _Marhaba_, I am Ask That Guy with the Glasses."

"Yes, I know, your reputation precedes you..."

"As does yours oh great Mistress..." he bowed with a flourish as if he was entertaining royalty

"Hmph, so I take it you have retrieved the book?" She inquired right away.

"Yes, he dropped it after leaving the funeral site for poor Ma-Ti," he explained taking the book out and placing it on the countertop, "So...my reward?"

"Hang on a minute," she said grabbing it, "I want to make sure its the real thing first before I give you any kind of reward."

She grabbed the book and looked through it. The book was heavy and thick, filled to pages with strange Sanskrit writing and drawings from a deranged mind's imagination. Decapitated heads. Organs. Images of people cutting up the limbs and joints of those that were still living and breathing with sharp axes and blades. The writing was in red and still had the coppery lingering stale scent of blood as it was scrawled down with. For an ancient book it was in very good condition. The last person who had it kept it well and hardly used it, it seemed. On the side hanging from the leather wraps where three golden padlocks etched with a corpse, bat and wolf. Nothing she had read about regarding the book ever failed to mention the three padlocks.

"YOU IDIOT!" She threw the book back at him, "they never said the book had padlocks!"

"Because people are more used to the 'book cover made of human skin' to realize what the real one looks like, I assure you Mistress what this is the actual book that Critic used to bring about this beautiful Wonderland of Happiness." replied Ask That Guy.

Diamanda looked at him a tad skeptical, and then picked up the book again. Taking a drink of her martini, she flipped through the pages again. It could have been the real thing. After all, red ink from a pen would be too fine and smooth to be noticeable against the uneven thick lettering of blood dipped in a century old ink pen. Not to mention only a man with years and years of language arts studies under his belt would take forever trying to memorize Sanskrit and copy it to a text this complex and lengthy. The language itself would take longer to learn in written word than the time it would take to forge the book itself. Still the padlocks.

She flipped a page and came upon a chapter called "Invoking The Trifecta of Horror."

"What is this?"

"I have no idea to be honest."

" '_ Inside, each man and woman has a fear within them that cannot be translated into any normal words. But feelings and taken in the form of insecurities._

_One of them is our fear of death and the afterlife. Where we desire to live forever, what of our internal organs who have no such desires and that are ready to cease to function. While our willpower to live continues us forward. The human vessel being merely a transportation for the useless cargo that is our insides. Do we fear death so much that we will deny the existence of our own human soul and put our body to rest in the dirt?_

_The Second is our fear to the darkness inside ourselves and more importantly how it excites us lustfully. The desires to seek out the night and seek man and woman out not in company or goodness but in blood and feasting. As our prey. As our slaves. Coupled with our carnal desires we will forsake all mortal coils of the flesh and indulge in both the blood and flesh. To have the power over uncontrollable love and desire with only the goddess the moon and its beautiful insanity as our loose immoral guide._

_And The Third is our brutal nature. Usually coupled with The Second Trifecta, we hold even in mankind's most civilized and law-giving manner, the desire to kill not out of necessity or to protect ourselves and those we love, but of the power we feed off it with raw primal instincts dictating the way. Like a caged beast it roams inside of us waiting to break out but we keep it down with guilt and human worry. The desire to be primitive and unleash our violent brutal nature from inside of us whenever we wish it. With no need of guilt or consequences.' "_ Diamanda Hagan read.

'_If one has complete control and confidence with the book one can invoke and place the incarnations of the Three Trifecta of Horrors under their command' _Hagan most definitely liked the sound of that.

"So," Ask That Guy bravely stepped out from behind the bar counter,"so I have your approval?"

"Yes," she said still engrossed in the book but addressing him all the same, "you have done well for someone not under my minion-ship. I'm impressed. So...what do you want out of this deal with me-?"

"Mistress!" a smaller runt minion asked her, "may we eat the corpses upstairs now, we are hungries."

"Oh very well, but don't gorge yourselves on them too quickly or you will get a stomach ache."

"Thanks Mistress"

The minions scurried back upstairs to devour the corpse of the dead man and woman leaving both villains alone together down in the mini-bar.

"Do you ever wonder, why I was stuck behind those bars, doing a simple ask and answer video for the past three years?" Ask That Guy inquired when they were finally alone.

"Not really..."

Ask That Guy seemed not to listen to her, as if he was talking for the sake of venting, "- well, I will tell you why! Sure, I liked them, but the REAL reason, was to control me, for TOG and Critic to keep me under an invisible lock and key. You see, I did some things...", he walked around fingering the countertop of the mini-bar absent mindedly, "lots of things I was proud of, but they weren't very supportive of. So when they created the site the first thing to do was to keep me out of trouble, so they gave me my own video series where I would be stuck behind that counter and idiots after idiots asked me all sort of question."

"That is riveting..."

_I wonder if I should go and check-up on the minions, _She thought to herself while Ask That Guy was talking, _Nah, I am sure they're fine._

Meanwhile, upstairs one of the minions was choking on a piece of bone from the body of the dead woman they were devouring. Another minion who had First Aide training before being converted to the Mistress's side was giving the poor minion the Heimlich maneuver.

Back downstairs, Ask That Guy was still telling his story.

"Sometimes I rebelled against him, did cruel and lecherous things, on camera mind you, to ruffle their feathers. All to keep that part of me alive. The Critic has monitored me for far too long. I want to OWN him now. Like I never could before, make him a silent soulless doll I could do with as I wish."

Diamanda crossed her arms over her chest staring at him, "So this alliance will be different because...?"

ATG walks over to her and explains, "Because you understand me. We have a common bond we share. Those people upstairs. They didn't die because of the darkness happening, the woman hadn't shot the husband and hang herself as you suspected. I did it. I walked in. Shot the man in the back of the head, fucked his corpse and then forced the woman to hang herself at gunpoint with her long pearl necklaces. Then went downstairs and helped myself to the mini-bar. All that mindless violence makes you thirsty you know."

Hagan was impressed even more by this man's behavior, it reminded her of herself back in her younger carefree days. but she needed more confirmation that he would be a good partner to her, "Okay, so we're both proudly fucked up, so what?"

Ask That Guy chuckled, and then looked up at the ceiling to the upstairs.

"If those people were still alive when you walked in...wouldn't you have done exactly the same thing coming into their house?"

"True...very true." she put her hand on his shoulder, "I like your style, And, I am sure no one is going to miss him once he is gone anyway..."

She then continued on a low throaty stately voice reserved for voicing important matters, and decisions, "Very well, I will allow this union, but know this...you are loyal only to me! If you think of backstabbing me, I assure you, before you plan on trying it again, I will make _your _suffering more slow and agonizing than I will ever give to the reviewers that try and stop me. Understand?"

"Yes..." his eyes looked even more hollow and lifeless than before.

She went over to the counter and picked up the book, tucking it under her arms, she had the book, minions, a partner-in-crime of her same vile nature, and pretty soon everything would fall under her control with no opposition or hinderance.

Everything was going according to plan finally.

"Come Ask That Guy," she said, "we have some work to do...

She turned around and walks off toward the direction of the stairs heading back up them, listening to the foots of him following close behind, Just then, Diamanda stops and turns to face him.

"And oh by the way," she added grinning, "I would have also shagged the woman's corpse after she hanged herself, but that is just me."

They walked out of the house after the minions' bellies were full. And the one that choked on a bone after eating the corpse too fast was feeling better. Heading out into the night to put their plan into actions. With the minions with full stomachs and mouths stained with blood, following behind. Curious at this strange new friend Diamanda allowed to tag along with her.

* * *

_**Channel Awesome Building**_

While the other reviewers were surveying the area around them, preparing weapons and talking among themselves, Alexa got out a different pair of boots which were more durable and easier to run in for Angelfox to wear. They were ankle-high with some ridges on the bottoms of the feet for traction and according to the Country Music Reviewer waterproof as well.

"These will be do better than those fancy little stylish boots you have on there." she said, "save those for when you're on vacation."

"Thanks Alexa," she put them on and laced them up,"what is going on out there?"

"It sounds like they're talking about stuff."

Alexa walked out of the room and into the hall lounge area to listen in.

"What do you think, do we honestly help him?" JewWario asked concerned, deep down he wanted too, but opposition between the groups during this time could be dangerous.

Welshy chimed in, "He got the book and used it, he should have been the one to fix it mate, I am sorry, but he should've known the consequences getting it."

"He already has Welshy," said Snob, "I was there when he first saw The Other Guy come out a zombie, besides, he has no idea how to fix it. What else can we try to do while he is out there trying to get the book back."

"Do you want him to screw up retrieving the book just as much as he did raising Ma-Ti?" Chick explained,"that was why he was doing it in the first place, apparently, he didn't know you had to have the corpse on hand for that ritual to work, like you said Welshy."

"That is what happens when you give him something he has no experience or research on...its not trying to get him to do a review of a videogame or an anime or whatever alone. It's out of his element for him!"

"Which is why I think we need to help him," JewWario said bravely,"offer our help and insight. What do we have to lose here? We have to survive and if it means getting the book back, then why shouldn't we help him?"

"He brought it on himself." SadPanda said in his English, watching the debate from a distance.

Chick sighed, "Look I know he screwed up, as far as I know, I'm used to him fucking up everything that happens if he has the means to fix this then we should let him at least correct his own mistakes-damning the results."

"Then I say we throw him out there and let him get that book and reverse it himself!"

Alexa could hear Angelfox walk up behind her peering over her friend's shoulder, listening in herself. Both looked at each other, exchanging worried looks before looking back at the small group of reviewers talking among themselves. A young man with short cut sandy blond hair with a black sweater vest over a white long-sleeved t-shirt and jeans walked over to them to voice his opinion in a british accent.

"If I can inject something here," Film Brain spoke up, "Okay, so The Critic messed up, he made a mistake. That doesn't change _our _situation here does it? I'm more than willing to encourage him-if he chooses-to go and find the book, but he asked for our help. If he goes out there alone and dies in the process, what about us? Who else is going to go out there and get it? You? Chick? Snob? While we sit here and do nothing? Like it or not, we don't have much of a choice in the matter. It's either find that book together or stay to be devoured by the undead."

Film Brain then added, "Do we stay here while the world dies around us, or do we go out there and maybe avenge those we lost in this event, put them at peace again?"

"Film Brain is right you know," said Snob, "there will be more advantage in numbers, and the quicker we find the book the quicker this nightmare is over."

Chick looked over to Film Brain, it was amazing how much he had grown, back then a yes-man little newbie following Critic around like a puppy-dog. Sure he still was loyal to him more than she could ever be. But at least he had a good reasoning to why they should help him. While the others let the matter sink and went over to offer their help to Critic, she patted him on the shoulder warmly.

"I'm impressed."

"Well," his cheeks blushed, "I just felt like I had to say something. It just seemed like the right thing to do and all...I mean after all, he is still an important part of this place the same as everyone else, and we have to stick together."

Well, I have to admit I am still impressed that you still stand by him even after all the crap he puts you personally through." she beamed.

"Well I-"

"Kickassia, Shooting Santa Christ, pushing you aside and fawning over Luke, nearly getting you killed by an evil immortal 'Harry Dresdan look alike' from the past, and still not even paying attention to you or giving you the time or day you still remain loyal to him. I admire that Film Brain." She said, "I wish there were more people as unquestionably decent, faithful, and loyal as you."

"U-Um..t-thanks!" he shouted after her, as she walked off to offer her support to Critic.

* * *

JewWario was the first to excitedly declare that he would help Nostalgia Critic, and Chick chimed in too, sitting down beside him with an arm around his shoulder.

"Film Brain made a good point, if we stand back and let you take it on alone we will be just as screwed as we are now," she said, "and besides, we've been through worse scrapes than this and we have always pulled through somehow-together."

Linkara and Spoony came over also.

"I am not going to lie and say I'm not doing this for different reasons," Spoony started, "but we're all in the same boat."

"Yeah, " replied Linkara, "besides, you need someone who is an expert in being a hero to save the day, not mention some magic on your side."

Welshy puts his stuffed monkey, Rob on his shoulders, which was still covered in bandages from his previous "Saw" movie reviews. And took what could be his last remaining bottle of Jack Daniels along.

"If am going to die," he said, "I am taking a few of those fuckers with me..."

Others had come to the conclusion, whether they liked it or not, they had to find the book. It was the first and only objective they could come up with. They could all fight the zombies and other terrors of the night until the cows came home. But it would do them little good if the book was not recovered safely and the spell reversed, Linkara, who knew magic, probably could find a loophole or a conclusion that they couldn't and The Critic was willing to fix it at least to correct his mistake. Something very few had seen him do in a while.

While some were just as eager to go into action and avenge those they cared about who had died in the zombie invasion.

* * *

Amidst the group, Angelfox was looking around letting others mind their own business, Alexa was excited of course, she already had on the homemade flamethrower and was as excited as the rest who were eager to spill blood and fight. She found herself inside the weapon room, looking at the kind of weapons Angry Joe had collected over the years wondering if she would be better off maybe with something, simple.

Her first thought was going over to a metal cupboard where all the first aid and medical supplies was kept. All of their talk of fighting and killing out of vengeance for the zombies. And yet not one of them thought maybe to bring along some healing supplies for the fight. She sighed and took the medical bag and fill it with bandages, a first aid kit, disinfectants, anything really that could come in handy if they were in a fight. After snapping the flap shut, she put it across over her shoulders so it was on her right side where it would it be easily in reach during an emergency.

As she leaves she sees a sickle hanging on the hooks attached to the wall. Angelfox goes right up and takes it down feeling the weight of the curvy weapon in her hand.

Luke peered in, "Wretch says that is a good weapon for you." he said.

She looked up curiously, "Wretch, who is that, another reviewer?"

"No he is a inner...uhh, he seems to be very talkative lately," he goes over, "they're all very nice, some of them I mean...a few...but you don't have to worry about them really."

"Uh, okay."

"You must be new here." he smiled.

"Excuse me?" She thought. Was there something she was not being told that it was prerogative she know about or was he trying to be funny.

"I didn't mean anything by it," he explained, "I just haven't seen you around here before until now, I am Luke by the way."

"Angelfox," she said, quickly adding before he could open his mouth, "and yes, before you ask, I was the survivor they rescued from the church on the way here. But I was originally going to come here anyway to get signed up to join the site."

"You're an online reviewer too?"

"Yes, book reviewer."

She leaves the room with Luke following behind her, they pass by Film Brain, who was watching them intently from the entryway for a while.

"Who was that?" Angelfox whispered to Luke.

"Oh that is Film Brain, he's at the Critic's hip most of the time." Luke answered, smirking at the British film reviewer.

"And this coming from someone who knew how he liked his coffee down to the last detail." scoffed Film Brain.

"Well if it isn't my old friend Spotted Dick." chuckled Luke.

"Well, if it isn't mop haired boy," Film Brain replied walking over towards them, "good to see you too."

"I hope you don't mind, I was telling my new friend Angelfox here all about you."

Film Brain looked over and blushed, he couldn't tell if it was the embarrassment of Luke telling stories about him to a young woman whom he had never met before and having her think that he was a spineless dolt, or maybe...something else entirely. He swallowed his shyness and tried to put on a brave but sure face. Hoping that he would get the last word against Luke's attempts to impress her.

"What..."

"Oh yeah," Luke went on, " Like, when I was about to tell her the story of when I saved you from being at the brainwashed mercy of the Cloaks and you were as helpless as a damsel in a Stephanie Meyer book."

"Yeah well," explained Film Brain sounding flustered, "well I find that hard to believe that as a book reviewer, she knows better than to believe everything she reads."

"As always one step ahead of me..." Luke said to himself.

"Really, I never heard about that." she said.

"Well, yes, I was under the spell of The Cloaks, but the spell was weak anyway, or so I think, I-I am sure if it wasn't Luke anyone else could have shattered the hold on me. He was holding the glass ball that broke its concentration on me."

"Really," Angelfox said amazed, "that easily huh?"

"I am sure that tells you something." The Film Conscience reviewer chimed in with his jesty smile.

"Hah, well you haven't seen me up against zombies yet. I am sure if Dudley Do-Right here gets taken down in first few seconds which I am sure will probably happen, you can take some comfort in the fact that I will be there ready to fight and protect you Angelfox!"

_Oh bloody hell, way to be a big boasting rooster, Film Brain... _He could hear his brain scolding.

Luke asked, "Really, you got yourself a weapon already, what is it?"

"Is it sharp like mine?" Angelfox asked showing Film Brain her sickle that she held in her hand.

"Well, I...my weapon is..." He looked around.

He could feel both Luke and Angelfox's eyes on him now.

"It's a..well... uhh...you know I have my weapon ready in my room let me go get it."

He ran past the two young reviewers and ran up the winding metal staircase to the second floor running into his room and look around for an item. Any item. That would make for a good weapon in fighting the zombies. Something that looked cool to impress Angelfox and show off his rival Luke for once. While searching in his room, he was too distracted to notice the lights in his room had gotten slightly dimmer. The shadowy figure of a tall shapely woman in a flowing black and red gown creeped silently up behind him. Her soft dress shoes almost gliding across the floor.

Film Brain turned around to look in his closet when he let out a startled shriek.

"VGood Evening..."

But to his relief, it was just one of Chick's friends the one who called herself Maven of the Eventide. Dressing up in gothic costumes and talking about vampires, he was sure that she wouldn't be fazed too much by it.

Probably though it would have needed vampires to add to the assemble. But she was harmless, always pretending she was a vampire. And unharmed, so Chick and Nella would be happy about that.

But what was she doing up here away from the others anyway?

"Oh its you Maven," he sighed,"I thought you were a zombie that snuck in or something, Chick, Nella, Paw, and Todd are downstairs by the way, they've wondered where you were."

Maven didn't reply, she walked slowly towards him, her low cut dress was "distracting" to say the least, he noticed. The velveteen corset molded to her curvy waist and accentuated the faintest image of cleavage quite well, but Film Brain shook those thoughts of his head. He was too concerned to get a weapon at the moment. When he tried to go past her, she took him by the shoulders and forced him in place in front of her wheeling him over to the bed.

"Maven, what the, what is wrong with you?" He was getting kinda nervous.

"Vou seem...flustered...all the vlood...going into your cheeks like that..." Seductively, she runs her finger down the side of his face stroking it.

"Maven, I don't have the time, you're always bloody drunk when you do this." He said even when she brushed her body up against his own.

"Oh Film Brain, you are so tense, lay down and relax on the bed," she tries to push him down on the bed possibly to reenact the bedroom scene with Jonathan Harker and Dracula's three wives from the Francis Ford Coppola movie, but Film Brain refused.

"I'm sorry but I don't have the time." he said trying to politely push her way.

_Her skin, it feels so cold...icy cold_

She grabbed him by the wrists holding them tightly, he could have sworn he could see her eyes flashing or maybe it was just a trick of the lamplights in his room.

"But it is," she spoke still in her vampiric accent, "I must quench my thirst..for blood."

"Okay Maven...now I know you are definitely drunk...just relax take a cold shower, drink some coffee...whatever...you will be sober up in no time."

She grinned, her fangs showing through her full dark red lips, "I don't drink...coffee."

And not the dime-store fake fangs that were too big for your mouth.

No, perfectly sized real ones growing long and sharper before Film Brain's eyes.

"SWEET JOHN CLEESE'S AUNTY YOU ARE A VAMPIRE!" He screamed in terror.

Film Brain pushed her off with as much strength he could muster and ran towards the door, but Maven barred the doorway with her teleporting-mist ability and pressed her body against the door preventing Film Brain's escape. The British film reviewer trembled, it was bad enough dealing with zombies but now vampires. Granted they were the real ones and not the sparkly kind. But that meant they would rip his throat out and drink up his blood, and he didn't want to die. Not this soon. He wasn't ready.

"Stay away from me!" He screamed, hoping someone downstairs would hear him, "STAY AWAY! DON'T COME ANY CLOSER!"

Maven chuckled darkly as she brushed her hair from off her shoulders, "I am going to bite you so hard and so deeply, that you will pass out and there is nothing you can do about it."

"Wait," Film Brain asked meekly,"when you mean bite me do you mean-?"

"Your neck, yes." she clarified, but not before advancing towards him.

Film Brain backed away knocking into furniture, stretching his hands out to guide himself, he had to think fast. He was unarmed, defenceless, he had no weapon to protect himself and now he was about to die. His chest was heaving and he suddenly felt his back hit the wall behind him. He was trapped!

And she was getting closer.

Suddenly, he felt his fingers felt something thick, plastic, and ropy. But hard as well. He looked over and saw on his desk next to him a small black desklamp with a very long attached cord connected to it. Thinking fast, he wrapped the end of the cord around his fingers and pulled it hard whipping it at Maven like it was the Vampire Whip from the Castlevania games.

Maven put her arms up and kept her distance.

Still hissing at him.

"NO!" she screamed as he was heading towards the door to his escape, "not the nicely decorated ceramic desk lamp, my one and only weakness!"

Film Brain stopped, "Really?"

"No" She lunged.

He ran out the door and slammed it shut in her face locking it behind him and ran down the stairs toward the lounge where his pale face and heavy breathing got everyone's attention. Even The Nostalgia Critic. Who came running up to him.

"HELP! VAMPIRE!"

"What do you mean a vampire?" Critic asked him.

Just then a swarm of bats flew in through the double doors that lead to the metal staircase, flying around over the other reviewer's heads. They screamed and covered their heads as the bats swooped down and started snapping their tiny jaws at them, threatening to bite them.

"Now everyone calm down," Dr. Insano assured them,"it has been scientifically proven that bats will not bite and drink the blood of human beings, with the exception of the South American Vampire Bat which mostly only feeds on cattle and other livestock and the weight in blood it digests won't be enough to kill a human or larger animal of that nature immediately" Assurance which he tried to tell them as they were screaming and running around him,"besides, the only thing we have to worry about is whether they are rabid-"

"You're not helping Insano!" Spoony said swinging his gunblade at them.

"Fine, do you want to see me helping, I will help them!" He shot energy from his fingers at the bats flying around and trying to bite him.

Luckily, no one got bit, the bats had been merely teasing them. The gathered together in the middle of the room to form the body of Maven.

"MAVEN!" Chick gasped, "you're a...vampire?"

"What is the meaning of this?" Nella demanded.

"This my dears, is rebirth!" she said happily, "I just woke up and for the first time in years I never felt so 'alive' and vibrant! I have become the embodiment of all vampirism. All the knowledge all of its splendor its pain, its joy, its POWER! It is now mine!"

"You mean 'ULTIMI POW-' "

"Shut up!"

"Sorry."

Chick stepped forward, "Elisa-"

"ITS MAVEN!"

"Maven, look, we can fix this...we will get the book back and turn you back into just a character playing her not a vampire. And then we can go out for low-fat frozen yogurt and booze how does that sound?"

Maven smiled, she laughed and then twirled around happily playing with her hair touching her fangs, her face was full of exuberance as if she was listening to a beautiful song inside of her head and partaking in its dance.

"I say...try...and you fail."

Her second response a flick of a wrist causes Chick to fly across the room and slam into a wall much to everyone's shock and horror.

She set her eyes on Paw, forcing two in front of him Todd and PushingUpRoses aside with the invisible force welded by her hand. Maven made her way towards him. His body paralyzed with fear.

"Come Paw," she purred reaching a hand out to him, "Come and embrace me in the night and we shall feast upon the blood of humanity!"

ERod could see the predicament Paw was in, he couldn't let a nice guy like him be bitten by the dark and beautiful Maven of the Eventide! It was time to go Buffy on her ass. He flipped on his sunglasses, equipped Lucille the hammer to his waist and brought out his wooden stakes. He then leaped out in between Maven and Paw.

"Okay Drucilla, you're not going to be biting any guy's neck! Either you leave or face the wrath of my stakes!" ERod commanded.

While Maven was distracted, Suede ran up to her with his katana unsheathed, her heightened sense picked up on his rushing footsteps and she twirled around and with her powers forced him up against the wall with his arms and legs splayed out and the katana hitting the wall two miniscule inches from his head. The New Zealander thought that his heart was going to burst out of his chest from how rapidly it was beating. As soon as Maven turned back to her adversary, she got a mouthful of garlic bulb in her mouth shoved in there by The Blockbuster Buster.

"Paw, go run!" He screamed at the music movie reviewer

Maven staggers back a bit, hardly able to breath, risking her fingers burned by the garlic's slimy texture she pulled it out of her mouth and backhand ERod to the ground. Using her new vampiric powers to set alight ERod's hammer, Lucille which he drops immediately as soon as it nearly scalded his hand. The heat from the flames melt the hammer to the floor, with his hammer momentarily out of commission for the time being, he stood back up and took out his stakes, preparing to stab her in the heart.

"EROD NO! SHE IS STILL OUR FRIEND IN THERE!" screamed Nella as she was helping up Chick off the ground.

Maven grabbed him by the wrist and tossed him across the floor as further away as she did Todd and PushingUpRoses. But it wasn't going to persuade him yet, unable to defend Paw with his hammer, he took one of his stakes and threw it at Maven just as she finally put her hands on him. But the vampire caught it in her hand and with her newfound vampire strength crushed the wooden sharpened stakes into splinters. Critic in a desperate attempt pointed the gun at Maven's head but she mind-willed him to pull the gun away from her head and shoot randomly until Snob pulled the gun out of his hand and punched him to break free of Maven's power.

Nella tried to think fast, she didn't want to have Paw bitten and turned into a vampire, but on the other hand, she didn't want to kill Maven either. Of course, she thought, I will scare her off. She rummaged around looking for anything cross-like she could use. If the garlic made her stop a bit, surely a holy cross would scare her off. It wouldn't hurt her but at least they could deal with her later.

Suddenly she remembered...

* * *

Maven had just dispatched Linkara and forced Paw's head back to expose his neck, her fangs extracted and ready to bite.

Just then she was face to face with a DVD cover of Veggie Tales: "Where Is God When I'm S-Scared". Being held by none other than Nella speaking in biblical verses.

Maven backed away from Paw flinching and covering her eyes from the holy image of singing and dancing vegetables, with their computer-animated eyes singing and telling bible stories. Nella kept advancing on her with the Veggie Tales DVD having no cross or crucifix on her at the time, Nella realized it was a better solution than nothing to save Paw. Maven hissed at Nella glaring at both her and Chick before she disappeared in a swarm of bats once more, and flew out through the air ducts outside into the night sky.

Chick went over to Nella while Todd and Roses attended to Paw.

"Now did you know that would work?" Chick asked.

"Because its Veggie Tales," answered Nella.

ERod managed to pick up damaged Lucille from the floor with a tiny bit of carpet fabric stuck to her from the metal that melted onto it.

"Does it still work?" Alexa asked him

"Yeah it should," he said taking a few practice swings, "this baby has never let me down yet, Maven was just trying to play rough, but I play harder."

"All right, enough standing around doing nothing and twiddling our thumbs," Angry Joe spoke up, "I say NOW we head out and get that book before it turns any more of our friends into scumbags that want us dead-Critic?"

Looking over, Critic climbed to his feet feeling the wall with one hand while rubbing his jaw with the other. He holstered his gun and cracked his neck. Suddenly the phone of the wall rings loudly. He looks over at Snob and then at Linkara. Neither one didn't know what to make if it. To everyone's surprise, SadPanda walked bravely over to the phone and answered it as if was no big deal at all.

"Bonjour, " he said, upon realizing the call at the other end was speaking in english he switched to his english accent, "do you have Prince Albert in a can?"

"_Why are you asking me this, is The Nostalgia Critic there or not?" _asked the man on the other end of the phone.

_"_Why it's a simple question that anyone can answer_-"_

_"Fine I will humor you, yes I have Prince Albert in a can-!"_

_"_Well what is he doing in a can you sick bastard, you should let him out."

"GIVE ME THAT!" Critic sighed and ripped the phone out of SadPanda's hand,"I'm sorry about that, that was just my..." he looks over at the French musician "-friend...this is The Nostalgia Critic, what do you want?"

_"A proposition for you, you have what I seek."_

"Oh really, and what would that be?"

_"The Necronomicon, my sources indicated before they died that you had the book last, hand it over to me. And perhaps I can help you fix this mess you've gotten yourself in."_

_"_Who are you?"

"_Someone who wants to discuss matters with you."_

"Look, whoever you are, it's true I had the book, keyword being 'had' but I don't anymore. I lost it so unless you have an idea where it is I can't help you. Hello?...Hello?"

There was a moment of silence on the phone before the caller spoke up again.

_"Meet me outside the Chicago district at my mansion before midnight. Take your friends if you want. You're going to need them. I will give you the address, but that is it. The rest you will have to find out on your own. If you and your friends can survive the terror unleashed outside without any casualties, than I will know how capable you are. You don't know it yet but we will be needing each other's help before this is over."_

"How do I know this isn't a trick?" Critic demanded, "tell me again: who are you and what do you want?"

"_Do you have a pen and paper ready?"_

"Why aren't you answering my questions-?"

"_DO YOU HAVE A PEN AND PAPER READY?"_

"Yes..."

He asked for a pen and paper, which Oancitizen obliged to let him borrow standing nearer to him. The arthouse reviewer went over and gave Critic a piece of a post-it note and a #2 pencil with a cute little eraser in the shape of a snail on the top, which he claimed was a gift from his titlecard artist. Critic thanked him, and then using the wall as a writing board put down the address to the mansion. Making sure to read it back to the caller before giving it back to Oancitizen.

_"Good, I will see you then..."_

"Wait, what do you know about the zombies and one of our friends becoming a vampire?" Critic asked, but the caller had already hung up the phone. Leaving the reviewer no answer.

"So now what?" Oancitizen asked putting the pen away.

"I don't know," Critic mused over,"this guy claimed he owns the book, and he is really to help us fix it. The question is how?"

"That is the problem though isn't it?" Snob said, "we're getting too many questions and not enough answers."

"Well hopefully we can sort all this out soon, I can't stand being stuck in one place for too long before everything goes bat-shit crazy...well, crazier than it already is." replied Sage.

As they talked, someone was pushing through the crowd, their hands on their stomach. Feel weak and looking wobbly. It was Fraser from Video Games Awesome, walking into the lounge with his face looking gaunt and sickly and graying patches around his eyes. The others stared at him strangely, even in their most kind-hearted nature, some of them were afraid to go near; not sure what was happening with him.

Anything coming out of Fraser's mouth was soon followed by a struggling wheeze for breath and a groan of pain. A trickle of dark blood dribbled down his mouth and onto his shirt. Staring at his friends and colleagues with far-away glassy eyes. Pleading for help. Or for a quick and painless death.

Then he collapsed on the floor.

* * *

**_TO BE CONTINUED_**

**A/N:** Thank you for everyone reading my fic, commenting and favoriting it. I appreciate the support :)


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